


Hope and Honor

by Kira_Tamarion



Category: Dragon Age (Video Games), Dragon Age - All Media Types, Dragon Age: Origins
Genre: Alternate Universe, Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Drama & Romance, F/M, Light Angst, M/M
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-10-10
Updated: 2018-11-23
Packaged: 2019-07-29 06:21:23
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 12
Words: 34,728
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16258454
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Kira_Tamarion/pseuds/Kira_Tamarion
Summary: How changing one major event can have a ripple effect through time. Alistair is saved from life at a monastery when Teagan convinces Maric to allow him to take over Alistair's fosterage. At the same time, young Emmalynn Amell is condemned by her father as a mage and taken from Ostwick to the Kinloch Circle. When Emma and Alistair come together, they bring Hope and Honor to aid the two Grey wardens who must end the 5th Blight.





	1. Teagan Steps Up

**Chapter 1 == Teagan Steps Up == 9:19-9:20**

It had been ten years since Teagan had left Ansburg to become Bann of Rainesfere, and he had been back to Ansburg to see his cousins yearly, ever since. For the last five years, his annual visits to Ansburg were a mix of family and business because he had been breeding Ferelden Forders and the cities of Starkhaven, Tantervale, and Ansburg were big customers. Teagan also visited Redcliffe for one week a month to work with Horse Master Dennet, and to visit his brother.

Whenever Teagan was at Redcliffe, he always made time to visit with Eamon's foster son, Alistair. Teagan had taught him to ride, so his visits usually included going horseback riding. Sometimes they would go fishing. One thing they would always do is talk. Early on, Teagan found that Alistair was a bright boy with a curiosity that knew no bounds. Remarkably, despite his sister-in-law's maltreatment of the boy, or perhaps because of it, Alistair was an unfailingly kind and empathetic boy.

Teagan knew Isolde beat Alistair, sometimes for things as small as forgetting to fix his bed. He tried to get Eamon to stop her, but his brother considered child rearing, even a foster child, to be a domestic matter and ever since he'd married Isolde, he left her in charge of domestic matters.

He told Teagan, "Isolde knows the lad needs to learn to follow rules. Not fixing his bed is breaking a rule, and Isolde will handle it how she will."

Ten months ago, he had noticed that Alistair was working as a stable boy, so he'd tried, yet again, to intervene on Alistair's behalf.

"Isolde is right: the boy should get used to hard work. He isn't always going to be living in a castle." It was useless to try to convince Eamon that anything Isolde did to Alistair was wrong. After a while, Teagan stopped trying. Teagan knew that Isolde worried that Alistair was Eamon's bastard. Teagan thought she was over that, but why else would she dislike the boy so much?

Teagan spoke with Mother Hannah in the village chantry and proposed to Eamon that Alistair be schooled there. Alistair needed to learn his letters and he told Eamon that "it would be dreadfully unfair to tax Isolde with it." Eamon readily agreed, and Teagan knew that Isolde would be happy because Alistair was out of sight and out of mind, at least in the afternoons.

Doing chores in the morning and going to the chantry in the afternoon seemed to suit Alistair, both because he was out from under Isolde's thumb and because Mother Hannah was a kindly woman who encouraged Alistair's desire to learn. From Chantry lore to the history of dwarves, local agriculture, or current events, Alistair's scholarly interests were vast.

**~oOOo~**

Alistair had just turned ten when Isolde found out she was with child. Suddenly he was banished from the castle to live in the horse barn and sleep in a hayloft.

Alistair was confused as to what he'd done wrong. Teagan had no explanation for him, save that Isolde was expecting and needed to remain calm.

Isolde was just about to enter her confinement when Eamon told Teagan that he was looking for a small, out of the way Chantry to send Alistair. When Teagan asked if it was for schooling, Eamon admitted that he was committing Alistair to the chantry to become a Templar.

"You are going to make Alistair a Templar? What does Maric say about this?"

Eamon waved off his younger brother's concern. "The king has given me full rights in the fostering of Alistair and if I think he it is best for him to go to the chantry then that's my decision. Besides, Maric need not concern himself with his by-blow."

"Yes, Alistair is illegitimate, but the King has always seemed concerned for his welfare."

"His concern is that no one ever finds out about Alistair; _clearly_ that is why he gave him to me to foster."

 _Maker, that poor child has only ever wanted someone to love him._ _When father died, my Aunt Thalia and her husband adopted us without a moment's thought and raised us as if were their own children._

"Eamon, Isolde does know that Alistair is not yours?"

"I've told her. She says his presence still makes her feel uncomfortable, especially now that she is expecting. So, the chantry will take care of Alistair and train him to be something of worth."

"Brother, you must remember, the Grand Cleric knows his parentage. She will use him as a pawn."

"That was Maric's fault because he wanted Alistair to have a chantry blessing. In any case, it matters little. My job is making sure that Alistair is raised in a way that removes any threat he may pose to the to the succession."

A very alarmed Teagan left at the end of the week, but instead of going to Rainesfere he rode straight to Denerim to see the King. Being Cailan's uncle and Maric's former brother-in-law, he was allowed an immediate audience.

Maric hated formality when it came to family, but it had taken Teagan several years to feel comfortable calling him just "Maric" and not your Majesty.

They settled in the King's study, both with a glass of brandy. "Teagan, what brings you to Denerim?"

"Maric, I'm concerned about Alistair. Are you aware that Isolde loathes the boy?"

Maric frowned. "Unfortunately, yes, I am quite aware of the Arlessa's petty jealousy. She thinks, despite being told to the contrary, that he's Eamon's bastard. I take it something has changed, aside from her being with child?"

"Yes. Six months ago, Isolde banished Alistair from the castle and sent him to live and sleep in the horse barn–."

Maric bristled and was about to speak, but Teagan held up his hand. "There's more. Eamon is going to commit Alistair to the chantry to be raised and trained as a Templar. I asked him if he'd spoken to you. He said, and I quote, 'The king has given me full rights in the fostering of Alistair and if I think he it is best for him to go to the chantry then that's my decision. Besides, Maric need not concern himself with his by-blow.'"

"My _by-blow_?"

Teagan nodded. "He said that it was his job is to 'make sure that Alistair is raised in a way that removes any threat he may pose to the to the succession.'"

Maric was shocked. "His _job_ was to foster Alistair, to raise Alistair like a son, Alistair knows I sired him, but Eamon was supposed to be his father."

Teagan shook his head. "I told Eamon that the Grand Cleric is the only other person who knows about Alistair's parentage. Once she gets her hooks into him, she will use that power to her own advantage and Alistair will suffer. He seemed completely unfazed by that knowledge."

"Apparently, he also doesn't seem to care that Elemena will use him to manipulate the Crown. I always wondered if Eamon secretly harbored anger at me, that he believes that I somehow besmirched Rowan's honor even though she'd died two years before I'd met Alistair's mother."

"Honestly, sometimes my brother is a mystery. I came here in part to apprise you of the situation, but also to ask if you would allow _me_ to foster Alistair."

Maric stroked his beard. "Teagan, you are not yet 30, and still unmarried. Raising a child will make finding a wife more difficult."

"If a woman I meet does not like the fact that I have a son, then she isn't the woman for me. Being a Bann for a decade has made me realize what is really important in life."

"Have you spoken to Eamon about this?"

"No, but I've been thinking about this for months. I remember my life in Ansburg, and how fortunate I was to be adopted into a family that loved me. I care for Alistair like a son. He's a loving child. He deserves a parent who actually cares about him and his welfare." Teagan paused. "I apologize for speaking so bluntly, your Majesty."

"It may be blunt, but it's the truth and it shows me how much you care about my son. I would be grateful if you would assume Alistair's fosterage, Teagan. I will rest easier knowing he is truly cared for."

Teagan grinned happily. "Thank you, Sire."

Maric smiled back. "Did Eamon give you a sense of when he was going to send Alistair to the chantry?"

"He mentioned having to find a small out-of-the-way-chantry. I would say by month's end at the latest."

Maric called for his Chancellor and Teyrn Loghain. When they arrived, Marc filled them in.

Loghain, who had no love for either the Chantry or Isolde, agreed with Maric about Alistair's fosterage. Loghain respected Teagan and what he had done as Bann of Rainesfere but had little love for his brother.

"Loghain, I would like us to leave for Redcliffe in the morning. This is to be a surprise visit, so no official entourage."

The Teyrn nodded. "I'll bring two of the Shield with us and be outfitted for travel and hunting in the Bannorn."

Maric looked at Teagan. "This will probably strain your relationship with your brother."

"My relationship with my brother has been strained since he met Isolde. But even if that were not so, Alistair's needs are more important to me than my relationship with Eamon. Much to Eamon's dissatisfaction, I am no longer his dutiful, _biddable_ younger-brother."

Loghain nodded in approval. "Teagan, you should go home to Rainesfere. We will send word."

"I'll depart this afternoon. By your leave, Your Majesty, your Grace."

After Teagan left, Loghain bristled. "I admit I was happy that Alistair was not being raised as part of the succession but in a hayloft? Then to become a lyrium-addled templar? I know I was unhappy when Alistair appeared, but irrespective of his mother, he is the son of the King of Ferelden and should not be under the thumb of an _Orlesian_ Arlessa or a Grand Cleric who reports to the _Orlesian_ Divine."

Maric nodded. "I'm glad Teagan came forward."

"Yes - I wonder how Eamon would have explained Alistair's move to a chantry?"

"Oh, undoubtedly it would have been something like Alistair needing chantry discipline."

**~oOOo~**

When Maric and Loghain arrived in Redcliffe it was dawn. Loghain slipped into the barn and found Alistair sound asleep in a hayloft.

Eamon and Isolde had not yet risen but were being summoned by the time Loghain rejoined Maric and reported, "There is no way Eamon can say that his being in the barn was a one-off night. Everything the lad owns is there with him."

"He might say it was Alistair's choice."

Loghain snorted, "Clearly Isolde thinks she did the right thing by sending him to the horse barn; she won't hide it. She'll let the cat out of the bag."

Maric chuckled as they walked into the castle and were shown to the audience chamber. Maric sat down on the Arl's throne and waited.

Eamon and a very pregnant Isolde arrived quickly, both looking distressed. Maric tried to look sheepish in order to set them at ease. "I am sorry to intrude. We were on our way to Edgehall and one of the horses threw a shoe. I spoke with Dennet who was happy to help. Sorry that you were woken up."

At the mention of the horse barn, Loghain noticed Eamon slightly pale and as predicted Isolde seemed unbothered.

"While I'm here, I would like to see Alistair."

"Your Majesty, at this early hour the lad is still asleep…do you really want me to wake him?"

 _Nice try, Eamon._ "I know it's early, but he can always take a nap in the afternoon."

Eamon nodded then turned to leave "Where are you going, Eamon?" Loghain asked.

"To wake Alistair, your Grace."

Maric chucked. "Eamon, I didn't mean for _you_ to wake him up. Just send a servant, as you usually do. If _you_ do it, it would just alarm him. I tried that once with Cailan; poor boy thought we were under attack."

Isolde sighed. "Just send Solange to the barn, Eamon."

"The barn?" Maric said.

"Ah…yes, well...he likes to pretend he is camping…but we just cannot have him in a tent somewhere outside of the castle. The barn is the safest place for him to sleep. He can pretend the barn is a tent. It is rather endearing…wouldn't you say so, Isolde?"

"Endearing? He has hay in his hair _every_ day, and _every_ day, Solange has to pick it out."

" _Every_ day?" Maric asked.

"Isolde is just exaggerating. I'm afraid it is rather annoying for her to have to spare Solange so she can pick hay out of Alistair's hair."

" _Pensez-vous que je mens?"_

"Of course, Eamon is not calling you a liar, Isolde. Look, if he is having a camp-out in the barn, just take Loghain and I to his bedroom and have a servant bring him there."

"Excellent suggestion, Sire." He turned to his wife looking her directly in the eyes. "Isolde, I will summon Solange while you show Loghain and Maric to Alistair's bedroom. Fortunately, you will be just a few doors from our room and can go _rest_. I worry about you, my love."

Isolde still looked affronted but nodded. "Please follow me Your Majesty, your Grace."

Isolde showed them to a room.

 _Are we supposed to believe this is Alistair's room?_ "Maric, he is such a well-mannered boy to keep his room so neat," Loghain said.

"I'm glad he is, that must make so much easier for you, Isolde. He can practically raise himself!" Maric grinned.

"Perhaps," Isolde said.

About a candle mark later, Alistair walked in with Eamon, he looked around, clearly confused. "This isn't my old room. I've never seen this room before. I thought were going to my room."

"So did we," Loghain said.

"Do not lie young man. You know that this is _your_ room," Isolde said firmly.

Alistair looked down at his feet.

At this point, Maric's temper flared. He turned away from Isolde briefly to compose his expression and calm down. He turned to look at his son. "Alistair, is this your bedroom?"

Alistair looked at the King, "What I said was the truth. This isn't my room. I've never seen this room before. I live in the barn."

Eamon was about to speak, but Loghain put up his hand. "I saw Alistair in the hayloft and all of his belongings were there with him. It is demonstrably clear that Alistair does not have a bedroom in the Castle."

Maric smiled. _He has Fiona_ _'_ _s eyes_. "Alistair, come here and have a seat next to me." Maric patted the bed beside him.

When he sat down, Maric noticed a small piece of hay in his hair, and what looked like a hand-shaped bruise on his arm - as if someone had grabbed him. By the size and shape of the bruise, the hand of his abuser was small. "What happened to your arm, Alistair?"

Alistair swallowed and quickly glanced at Isolde, then looked at the King. "I cannot say, your Majesty."

"May I look?"

Alistair showed Maric his arm; the whole forearm was slightly swollen and when he touched it, Alistair winced.

He looked at Alistair "This isn't the first bruise you've been given by the Arlessa is it?"

Alistair knew he dared not lie. "No, your Majesty, it's not." Maric looked at his son. He was only ten, but he was tall. He was also too thin for what promised to be a large frame.

Isolde paled at Maric's glare.

Turning to Loghain, the King asked, "Could you take Alistair to get breakfast?"

The Teyrn smirked. "I would be happy to."

Once Alistair was out of the room. Maric looked at Isolde and his tone was firm and measured. "Arl Eamon and Arlessa Isolde, it is time to talk about the fosterage of _my_ son."

Isolde's eyes went wide, and she looked at Eamon. "Eamon _, dit-il la vérité?_ Is he truly not yours?"

"So _Arl Eamon_ , could you explain _why_ Alistair lives in a barn and _why_ your wife grabbed his arm hard enough for it to be swollen and bruised?"

Before Eamon could speak, Isolde sniffed, "Your Majesty, the boy is incorrigible! My husband is committing him to the chantry, where he will learn to behave."

Maric feigned the surprise but not the anger. "The _Chantry_?!" he roared.

Eamon looked at his wife with concern. "Isolde, please go back to our room; you need to rest."

It seemed as if Eamon was worried about his wife, but Maric watched the Arl closely. _His worry has more to do with his political ambitions than anything else._

Once Isolde left the room, Eamon assumed his placating, diplomatic expression. "Your Majesty, please excuse Isolde. She is not herself."

 _Loghain hates that expression; he believes the Arl to be arrogant and completely disingenuous. His exact words were 'an arrogant lying weasel.' I admit I've given Eamon the benefit of the doubt because he is Rowan's brother, but I cannot countenance it any longer._ "Eamon, when did you plan on telling me you were sending Alistair to the Chantry, and into Elemena's hands?"

"Of course, I was planning to ask you first!"

 _You arrogant lying weasel._ "What was your plan if I had said no?"

"…Keep him here?"

"Eamon, that statement lacked conviction." _The Arl seems to be at a loss for words. Clearly, he did not anticipate having this conversation._ Maric held up his hand to forestall Eamon from giving any more excuses. "Eamon, I will make this easy for you and your wife, particularly considering the Arlessa's delicate condition: I am removing Alistair from your care."

"Sire, I know I have given Isolde too much say in raising the boy, l–"

"Don't waste your breath, Eamon. Nothing will change my decision."

"Are you _recognizing_ your bas-son?"

"My what? My _bastard_ son? He isn't just the result of a tumble with a servant and you know it! I loved his mother, and she had me promise not to raise him in court. I care about him, and it hurts that I cannot acknowledge him."

"Then what…what will you do?"

"Appoint Teagan as his foster father."

"Sire! Teagan is unmarried and, not to speak ill of my brother, he is a bit flighty."

Maric shook his head, "Eamon, I advise you not to pursue that line of thought. Teagan has shown himself to be nothing save honorable and level-headed. Everyone in Landsmeet knows his holding is among one of the best governed in the Bannorn. You and I both know he cares about Alistair and the boy's welfare."

"Yes…yes. Perhaps too much." Eamon said the last mostly under his breath.

Maric, who had heard it, erupted. "Don't you dare! If you want to remain Arl then you will not make another ill-considered…. No, not ill-considered. It's an outright lie about Teagan. Now, I want Alistair's belongings, _all_ of them, packed and ready within the hour. I will be removing him from your care today."

"But Sire, what if Teagan does not want to be his foster father?"

"Then _I_ will deal with it. Alistair is no longer your concern. Thank you for your years of service in fostering him."

"No thank you is needed, I was happy to help." Eamon could not keep the defeat from coloring his tone.

Maric nodded and then said with a King's calm finality, "Eamon, if I hear of any recriminations against your brother, I will react with all the power I possess. Now go to your wife; I am sure she will be happy with this news."

Eamon bowed and left.

_I should never have promised Fiona. But at least now Alistair will be safe and, hopefully, happy._

Loghain came back smiling. "I don't know exactly what you said, but Eamon's expression looked like he'd just stepped in a pile of shite."

Maric sighed. "How could he be related to Teagan or Rowan?"

"Every tree can have a bad apple. I think that Eamon will bear watching. He is as likely to back down as an Orlesian is to remove his mask."

"I will trust _you_ to help with that."

"I fully intend to. While Alistair was shoveling food into his clearly empty belly, I asked him if he would like to have Teagan as his foster father."

"What did he say?"

Loghain chortled. "Given that his mouth was full of porridge, he didn't _say_ anything, but he nodded so vigorously I thought he was going to hurt his neck."

* * *

AN: A million thanks to my Beta ElyssaCousland author of There and Back Again. It has been a while since I've written a story, and I hope you all come along for the ride.


	2. Feud(al) Relations – Brother vs. Brother

**Chapter 2 = = Feud(al) Relations – Brother vs. Brother = = 9:20 to 9:22**

"Your Forders are magnificent, Teagan," Maric said as he and Teagan watched the horses run and graze in the pasture.

Unabashedly proud, Teagan grinned. "They are. The Forders are versatile breed. Starkhaven uses them for farming, Tantervale – with Tevinter to the north and Orlais to the west – uses them for cavalry. Ansburg uses them for both. The income goes back into the farm, and the profit goes to Rainesfere."

"I told Eamon when I removed Alistair from Redcliffe that everyone in the Landsmeet knows Rainesfere is one of the best-governed holdings in the Bannorn. Your people love you Teagan because you put their needs at the forefront."

"I try. It's what I learned growing up."

"I would ask how Alistair is faring, but I saw him working with one of the foals and grinning and laughing with the younger grooms. It's only been three months, but he's already put on weight. I almost didn't recognize him. "

"Maric, may I recognize Alistair as my heir? I ask because I know you and his mother want him raised away from the throne."

Maric looked surprised."You _will_ marry at some point, Teagan. Would you not want your first-born child to be your heir?"

"Alistair is my first-born child–by blood or not."

Looking jovial, Maric grinned."If I had any remaining doubts about making you Alistair's foster father, they would have vanished after hearing you say that. Yes, you can make him your heir. "

Teagan relaxed and smiled in gratitude."Thank you, Maric."

**~oOOo~**

"How was your visit with Teagan?" Loghain asked as he and Maric walked to the sparing yard.

"Wonderful! Alistair looks like a completely different child now that he has some more meat on his bones and he's clearly happy."

Loghain nodded. "How's the horse farm?"

"Orlais better enjoy their horse trading income now, because, in five years, our Forders are going to be the horse of choice in the Marches."

Loghain smirked,"The horse farm is good for Rainesfere and good for the Bannorn; screwing Orlais is really a bonus."

"My one concern is Eamon…he hasn't done anything…"

"Yet," Loghain added.

"Exactly! Yet. That's why I would like both yours and Bryce's counsel on dealing with him."

"Are you sure you want to tell Bryce about Alistair's true parentage?"

"I do."

"The more people who know the more likely that the secret will come out."

"Bryce is equally skilled as Eamon in politics, better liked _and_ is just as wary of Eamon and Isolde as we are. I'd like to have Bryce keep a close eye on Eamon. He is in the best position to do so. Politically _and_ geographically."

"True," Loghain conceded.

**~oOOo~**

Teagan wrote in his journal.

**_23 Justinian 9:20_ **

_Shortly after Maric's visit, Commander Duncan of the Ferelden Grey Wardens came to Rainesfere. He told me that he was recruiting in the area. However, after what Maric told me, I knew that the Warden-Commander really was here because he wanted to know how Alistair was adjusting and to make sure all is going well._

_The Commander was clearly relieved that Alistair wasn't being shunted off to the chantry to become a templar and thanked me for intervening on Alistair's behalf._

_Duncan told me that he'd promised Alistair's mother not to recruit Alistair into the Grey Wardens unless it was the only way to save him. While the training as a templar in and of itself wouldn't be a problem, if Alistair was being forced to take vows, he would have recruited him away from the Chantry._

_Happily, now, that is no longer a concern._

**9:21 = = One year after Alistair's move to Rainesfere**

"Alistair, are you looking forward to going to Denerim when I attend the Landsmeet next month?" They had just returned from their daily ride and headed inside for the mid-day meal.

"I am. When I was five, Arl Eamon brought me to Denerim. Will Teryna Eleanor really be taking me and Aedan to the Denerim Market?"

"That's the plan."

"I really like the Couslands. I'm glad you let me meet them when they came here."

Teagan looked puzzled. "You mean you weren't introduced to them when they came to Redcliffe?"

"Unh ah. The Arlessa sent me to the kennels whenever they visited."

Teagan hugged Alistair. "I'm sorry she did that."

Alistair hugged back. "You made it so she can't do that anymore. Right?"

Teagan ruffled Alistair's hair. "Right!"

Following Teagan into the dining room, Alistair went straight to the cheese and put several slices on his plate. "Dad, can I become a Knight?"

 _Jumping from one topic to another, I did that when I was his age._ smiling affectionately Teagan asked, "Is that what you want to be?"

Alistair nodded. "Ever since I was five, but Arl Eamon said I wasn't allowed. I know I'm older than a lot of squires, is it even possible?"

"Horse master Dennet believes that you are one of the best horsemen he's seen. I've seen how good you with a practice sword, so I doubt you would have problems learning weapons-craft. But as you know, there is more to being a knight than horses and swords. Did you ever have a chance to talk to any of the Redcliffe Knights about being a knight?"

Alistair's shoulder slumped. "I spoke to Ser Terrick; he told the Arl. That's when Arl Eamon said I couldn't be a knight."

 _I wish I could disown my brother_. "Dennet is coming to Rainesfere next week to take Cinnamon back to Redcliffe, and I think Ser Perth is escorting him. I can ask Perth to talk to you. Would that help?"

Alistair nodded. "I like Ser Perth."

"Good. If you really want to be a knight, I will speak with Maric when we are at next month's Landsmeet. I'm sure he will approve, but I want to make _sure_ and get his advice on how to go about it. You could be the first Knight of Rainesfere."

Alistair beamed.

**== One month later = =**

"Wow, Denerim is huge Da! Mother Hannah told me that Andraste was born here before it was called Denerim."

"Yes, it was just a small fishing village then." _Alistair has been very excited about staying at the Gnawed Noble; I have to admit, I'd rather be here than listening to Isolde's gossiping._

"Son, since the Landsmeet isn't for a couple of days, I arranged to see the King tomorrow about your wish to become a knight."

"I'm glad Ser Perth came to Rainesfere. He told me all about chivalry and honor and how Knights swear to defend those who are weaker than them. That's what I want to do."

"And that is what I will tell the king. Now off to bed."

"G'night, Da." Alistair hugged Teagan.

Teagan kissed the top of his head. "Night, Son."

**~oOOo~**

"What can I do for you, Teagan?" Maric asked.

"Well, Alistair has expressed a strong desire to become a knight. He said he has wanted to be one ever since he was five, but that dream was dashed by my brother."

"He _really_ wants to become a knight?" Maric smiled.

"He does. I asked Ser Perth last month to talk with Alistair about it. Alistair told me that Perth told him all about chivalry and honor. Alistair then said, and I quote, 'Knights swear to defend those who are weaker than them. That's what I want to do.' Naturally, I have questions: first, would you permit it, and second, how do I go about it?"

"Not only will I permit it, I will put that permission in writing. Let me send one of my knights and ask Bryce to send one of his to Rainesfere. They can evaluate him and decide how he can be a squire – and stay with you at Rainesfere."

"I'm not a knight…who would Knight him?"

"Me. The King. His Knighting would be held here, there is no way I will let Eamon get involved."

"Thank you, Maric."

Maric nodded. "I heard that you're staying at the Gnawed Noble."

"Yes; I didn't think that Alistair staying at Eamon's estate would be a good idea, and honestly, I'm glad not to be there, either. Isolde does nothing but gossip."

Maric rolled his eyes. "I know...she can be unbearable. Have you considered buying a small estate in Denerim? It would be far more comfortable than a room at the inn, and when you travel to the Free Marches, it would be easier to depart from Denerim."

"I've considered it. My income from the horses I primarily put back into Rainesfere. I have been saving a little bit each month, but the prices in Denerim at still out of reach. One day, perhaps."

At that point, Maric's Chancellor arrived. "Your Majesty, your presence is required at the trade council meeting."

"Thank you, Caen." Maric sighed. "The council is probably mired in discussions about whether hay bales should be rolled to the left or to the right."

Teagan laughed. "Thank you for your time, Maric, and your support."

"You are always welcome, Teagan."

Before the Landsmeet ended, Teagan received a letter.

_Dear Bann Teagan,_

_Bann Sardis is selling his manor so he can purchase the late lord Selwin's estate (Lord Selwin's home is the one with the Orlesian-style entrance and trim). I suggest speaking with Bann Sardis as soon as possible. I am quite sure that you could purchase the manor at a price beneficial to you and the Bann._

_Let me know if you are interested, and I will set up a meeting between you both at his estate._

_In service,_

_Caen Balmore,  
_ _Chancellor_

Teagan laughed. _Maric, you do beat all._

Teagan and Alistair met with Bann Sardis. The manor could hardly be considered small. It was well kept and even had an attached stable. Alistair was outside looking at the stable while Teagan talked with Sardis.

_How will I be able to afford this?_

"Teagan, I heard that Star Dancer is just starting to stud."

Teagan nodded. _The only one who knows who could have told Sardis is Maric._

"I will take a quarter of the price in sovereigns and the rest with the promise of Star Dancer's first foal."

 _Star Dancer is an excellent stallion, but certainly not my top stud. However, if that is what he wants…_ "Deal."

Four months after the Landsmeet, Ser Borredan from Maric's Shield, and Ser Colum from Highever came to Rainesfere for two weeks to work with Alistair, and determine if he was truly willing and able to become a knight and to determine his potential. Neither knight knew that Alistair was Maric's son; they just assumed Teagan had adopted Alistair because he lacked an heir.

**~oOOo~**

_His Grace Teyrn Bryce Cousland_

_Highever City_  
_Castle Cousland  
_ _15 August, 9:21 Dragon_

_Your Grace,_

_Ser Borredan and I have spent the last two weeks working with Alistair Guerrin. In addition to his horsemanship, which is far and away better then what we would expect for a squire (even some Knights of my acquaintance), he has the athleticism and coordination necessary to make a formidable warrior._

_However, what brings my quill to parchment is Alistair's nature. The young man is innately honorable, compassionate, and valorous, the key elements of chivalry. Ser Borredan and I agree that if such a thing were known to exist, I would say that Alistair is a natural knight – only waiting for the right training in arms and siege warfare._

_We have already spoken of this to Bann Teagan and have sent a similar letter to His Majesty. We believe a Knight should come from either Redcliffe or Highever so Alistair may become his squire. Honestly, I would not be surprised if he were ready to sit vigil when he is 18 summers._

_Yours in Service,_

_Ser Colum  
_ _Knight of Highever_

Within the month, it was Ser Colum who relocated to Rainesfere and Alistair became his squire. Between his schooling at the Rainesfere Chantry, his training with the knight, and his raising horses with Teagan. Alistair's life was a full and happy one.

**= = 9:22 = = Two years after Alistair came to Rainesfere**

_Bann Teagan Guerrin_  
_Rainesfere  
_ _5 Cloudreach, 9:22 Dragon_

_Dear Teagan,_

_I write to tell you that a few weeks ago I learned of your brother's plans to inspect all trade goods leaving_ _west_ _from Redcliffe, this includes horses. The is clearly meant to cause delay and disruption at Rainesfere. I wrote to your brother (for a completely different reason) and mentioned, casually, that the Imperial highway on the west side of Lake Calenhad was so well maintained that I had been thinking about changing Highever's trade route to the west, and could easily stop at Rainesfere, thus removing the burden on Redcliffe of inspecting trade goods headed west._

_Forgive me for interfering; I felt that I had to act._

_Please let me know if you do experience trade issues with Redcliffe, as what I wrote to the Arl was quite true and I would do it without a moment's hesitation if it protected Rainesfere._

_-Bryce Cousland_

Teagan later wrote in his journal

_Thank the Maker for Teyrn Bryce._

_I know Eamon is still holding a grudge against me about Alistair, but I really think the problem is Isolde. She seems to hold some secret desire for me, even though I have been clear with Isolde and Eamon that I do not reciprocate._

_Frankly, I find the idea of being with Isolde to be completely nauseating._


	3. Birth of a Nation and the Death of a Sovereign

**Chapter 3 = = Birth of a Nation and the Death of a Sovereign = = 9:25 to 9:26**

Maric told the Wintermarch Landsmeet, "As you know for the last two years, I've been working with the Marcher lords to try and regularize trade because it is ridiculous to have to negotiate seven different agreements for the same goods.

"I have been approached by the leaders of Starkhaven, Tantervale, and Kirkwall to meet with the Marcher Lords from all seven countries, as well as the Grand Cleric, to help them work towards a Marcher unity...or as united as the Marcher Lords can be.

"Aside from the obvious benefit for trade, a unified Marches would allow us to create mutual defense pact in case Orlais or any other nation wants to pick a fight, and we all know that the Marchers hate Orlais almost as much as we do. I thank the King council, and the Bannorn advisory group for your help, advice, and suggestions. After much thought, here is what I propose. Chancellor, please read the proposal."

_For approval by the Landsmeet, our Sovereign Maric Theirin King of Ferelden puts forth the following proposal:_

_First: That King Maric will travel to Wycombe to negotiate, on behalf of Ferelden, with the leaders of Ansburg, Ostwick, Tantervale, Kirkwall, Markham, Wycombe, and Starkhaven, as well as the Grand Cleric of the Free Marches for the purpose of creating a formal relationship between the Marcher nations._

_If such a relationship is created, then_

_Second: That King Maric negotiate with the newly unified body of the Free Marches a formal trade agreement and mutual defense pact with Ferelden._

The Chancellor asked, "Any discussion?"

No one spoke.

"As there is no discussion, all in favor of the King's proposal, say. "Aye"

"Aye!" Reverberated throughout the chamber.

"Opposed?"

"No one is opposed. Any abstentions?"

"Our Majesty's proposal is approved…unanimously."

The Bannorn began to cheer. Maric raised his hand and the room quieted. "Thank you for your approval and support. I will make the arrangements to leave for the Free Marches." He nodded to the Chancellor.

"The business for the Wintermarch Landsmeet is hereby concluded."

Maric left the Landsmeet, followed by both Teyrns. "Bryce and Loghain, could you come to my study after dinner? I need your counsel."

Both men indicated their agreement. Maric smiled. "Thank you. See you later at dinner."

**~oOOo~**

"I don't remember the last unanimous vote from the Landsmeet," Loghain said as he took the proffered glass of port from Maric's hand.

"The Bannorn is tired of the tedium in dealing the Marches," Maric said.

"What has been driving the Marcher Lords towards unification?" Bryce asked.

"I think the Lords saw how the Orlais worked through the Chantry to unseat Threnhold and put Dumar on the throne in Kirkwall. That's when they realized how isolated they are," Loghain offered.

"Indeed," Maric said.

"What counsel can we provide, Maric?" Bryce asked.

"I'm leery about Eamon. After what happened with Alistair's fosterage and with Eamon's current behavior towards Teagan, I cannot shake the feeling that he's plotting something, but I have no idea what, or if I am just being paranoid."

"If you are being paranoid, then so am I," Loghain said.

"Me as well."

"I want Eamon close by in order to keep an eye on him, so I was thinking of giving him the job of Seneschal or Chancellor, as Caen has been thinking about retiring. While those are elevated positions it also affords me and Loghain and several trusted servants the opportunity to keep better tabs on him without his suspecting anything."

Bryce and Loghain looked thoughtful.

Loghain spoke first. "I think it's a sensible idea, aside from the thought of the walls resounding with the Arlessa's voice." Loghain shuddered. "It makes my skin crawl."

Bryce chuckled. "It makes mine crawl too. Honestly, Maric, I'd been thinking along the same lines. Especially, as I've already had to discretely intervene to ensure that Eamon didn't delay shipments to Rainesfere."

"Then we'll make it formal at the next Landsmeet. Now on a related topic, I want Teagan to attend me on my trip to the Marches. His personal connections to the Margrave and professional connections with the Marchers will serve me well. Additionally, I can see if he would be willing to become the Arl of Redcliffe."

Loghain chuckled. "The people of Redcliffe would welcome him with open arms and it would benefit Rainesfere, too."

"I agree with Loghain; Redcliffe would do far better under Teagan than Eamon."

Maric motioned to a servant to bring them more brandy. "Then it is settled. Once the Marches are sorted out, I will appoint Eamon as Chamberlain or Seneschal and elevate Teagan to Arl of Redcliffe."

**~oOOo~**

Teagan read Maric's request to accompany him to the Free Marches and then sent for Alistair. _I would happily use my contacts in the Marches to help Maric's mission._

"Hi, Da! You needed to see me?"

Teagan nodded. "You remember from the Landsmeet that Maric is going to Wycombe to try and get the Marcher lords to agree on some kind of unification?"

Alistair nodded.

"I just received a note from the King asking me to accompany him on his mission."

"That makes sense; you have a lot of contacts in the Marches."

"Son, would you be alright with staying with the Couslands while I'm gone? The king thinks we'll be gone for at least three months."

"Da, I'll miss you, but I'll be _fine_ at Highever. Besides, an agreement with the Marches will open up more markets for our horses!" Alistair rubbed his hands together eagerly.

Teagan laughed. "Quite right!"

**~oOOo~**

Maric was so happy that Teagan agreed to come along, that he became quite eager to get started, they left a week earlier than planned.

One evening aboard the ship, the two men were having a glass of port in Maric's sitting room.

"Teagan, how are things really going between you and your brother?"

"Between us as _brothers_ , I would say it is cordial, but not warm. Since that one incident where Bryce intervened, Eamon has left Rainesfere alone. So, between _Arl_ Eamon and _Bann_ Teagan things are calm…At least for now."

"What would you think of my appointing Eamon to serve as Chancellor?"

"You mean he would no longer be Arl of Redcliffe?"

"Exactly."

Teagan arched an eyebrow. "You want to keep your eye on him?"

"Am I that transparent?"

'No. But most people know only the public Eamon: unselfish, having only Ferelden's interests at heart. The real Eamon will see this appointment as a step up and his pride won't let him question it. But what of Connor?"

"They would all live at the palace."

Teagan was about to take a sip of port but the glass stopped at his mouth. He slowly put down the drink. "Who would you make Arl?"

Maric just looked at Teagan.

"Me! Your Majesty, I'm flattered but…"

"No buts, Teagan. Redcliffe would welcome you with open arms, and you would finally have more land for your growing horse farm."

"Well, assuming the Landsmeet agrees, I humbly accept your proposal."

**~oOOo~**

Teagan wrote in his journal

_I am on my way back home._

_The League of Marcher Nations was created by the Treaty of Wycombe signed on the 15_ _th_ _of Cloudreach 9:25 Dragon, by each ruler in the Marches, and the Grand_ Cleric. _Among the largest of the changes is relocating the Circle of Magi from Kirkwall to Starkhaven, Ostwick, and Markham. The Gallows will be either taken down or left vacant._

 _Surprisingly, the Divine approved, in part because the request was couched in the context of the safety of Grand Cleric and that the size of the Kirkwall Circle prevents effective guarding of the mages._ _At the heart of the issue, however, is to stop the templars from interfering with the Kirkwall guard, and the governing of Kirkwall. The Grand Cleric of the Free Marches is a lovely and pious woman, who needs to be able to focus her attention on her flock in Kirkwall._

_The first official act of the League was to draw up a trade agreement and mutual defense pact between the League and Ferelden._

_I am carrying the Treaty, defense pact, and trade agreement to Denerim, because Maric wants to stay in Wycombe until the defense pact and trade agreement has been ratified by the Landsmeet. Just in case there need to be changes negotiated, Maric doesn't want to have to travel back and forth to Wycombe. Personally, I think he is staying away from Ferelden to force the Landsmeet to act and not dicker around._

**~oOOo~**

"Lost at sea!?" Loghain sat down heavily.

"Where?" Cailan asked, disbelieving and in shock.

"The information we have is that the ship was last seen on the east side of Alamar." Reported the Senior Lieutenant of Maric's Shield, now acting Captain

"We will need to convene the Landsmeet to settle the succession," Cailan said trying to hold off a tidal wave of grief by thinking through what needed to be done to secure Ferelden.

"Cailan, I will gather some of the Shield and take one of the smaller ships to see if we can find Maric or the ship or any sign of the wreck."

"Thank you, Loghain. We can convene the Landsmeet in six weeks?"

The Chancellor nodded. "Yes, your Highness. Teyrn Loghain?"

Loghain lost in a revere, started. "Yes, yes, six weeks. It shouldn't take much more than that to search Alamar and Brande'ls Reach."

"I'll tell Anora," Cailan said, leaving the room.

Loghain looked at the Chancellor. "I'm glad that Maric had Cailan shadow him for the last year. He's been to council meetings, assemblies, and traveling around Ferelden, meeting with the Bannorn. Maric said he felt more confident that Cailan understood what it took to be king. I hope so."

"As do I."

Loghain stood, expression stoic, his posture ramrod straight, his grief held at bay, grateful that Celia had come to Denerim to visit with him and Anora.

**~oOOo~**

_9 August, 9:25 Dragon  
_ _Cailan Theirin, Rex F_ _erelden_

_Your Majesty,_

_It's been almost over 6 weeks and we've found no signs of a shipwreck on the coasts of Alamar or Brandel's Reach._ _Searching both Alamar and Brandel's Reach yielded no clues either._

_If the ship sank then it has been swept into the Amaranthine Ocean._

_It couldn't be the Marcher Lords, as the treaty and pact had already been ratified._ _I suspect Orlais, even though it would have made more sense for Orlais to prevent the unification of the Marches. But I have no evidence._

_I'm sorry to have delayed the coronation. I will be back in Denerim within the week. Celia and I will be there for yours and Anora's wedding and coronation._

_LMT_

_1 Kingsway, 9:25 Dragon_  
_Bryce Cousland, Teyrn  
_ _Highever_

_Bryce_

_I am back in Gwaren and will be staying here with Celia._

_I think that you'll agree the issues we spoke of in Wintermarch will need to wait until Cailan and Anora have settled in as husband and wife, and King and Queen, and the Bannorn has settled down._

_We will just have to keep our ears to the ground in case the Arl stirs the pot._

_LMT_

**~oOOo~**

_23_ _rd_ _of August 9:26 Dragon_  
_Bann Teagan Guerrin  
_ _Rainesfere_

_Dear Teagan,_

_Loghain and I spoke to Cailan and Anora about Maric's idea to appoint Eamon as Chancellor as we had discussed prior to going to Wycombe. Cailan refused to entertain the idea, and Anora supported him. They gave no reason; they simply refused._

_It was clear to both Loghain and me that for whatever reason, Eamon is clearly out of favor with the King and Queen. We don't believe they want him at the palace. At all._

_The bright spot, however, is that Cailan and Anora were furious with Eamon when Loghain told them about the taxes being levied on your horse farm profits. Cailan said that all of Ferelden is benefiting from trade with the League, and if Redcliffe wants to partake of the flow of trade then "the Arl needs to get off his arse and do something productive for and with Redcliffe, instead of living high off of yours and Alistair's hard work."_

_Eamon will be told by royal proclamation that he is forbidden from taxing your horse farm. Particularly as you use the profits to maintain and improve Rainesfere. His taxation essentially takes money from your people._

_I am heading back to Highever tomorrow and will continue to keep an eye on Eamon._

_~Bryce_

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you to ElyssaCousland for being my Beta! 
> 
> I actually didn't know until I did the research for this story that Teagan had such close connections to the Margravine of Ansburg. Additionally, I had forgotten that the reason Maric went to Wycombe was to unify the Free Marches. What the Marches would look like if Maric had made it to Wycombe was a fun thought exercise, and I hope you enjoy it.


	4. The Bann's Daughter

**Chapter 4 = =The Bann's Daughter = = 9:28**

Later in the chapter is Mild NSFW

* * *

When the 18-year-old Alistair met Bann McCarty's 19-year-old daughter, Eleanora, she had recently returned home after her first year at the University of Orlais. Alistair was staying at the McCarty's estate for the summer to help the Bann establish a stable of Ferelden Forders. Alistair brought Star Dancer, which Teagan had gifted to Bann Vernon, to serve as the stud horse for the new stables.

"You're sure you have everything you need, Son?"

Alistair grinned. "Clothes, check. Armor, wearing it, check. What am I missing? Oh right." Alistair snapped his fingers. "Star Dancer and his tack."

Teagan chuckled and mussed Alistair's hair. "Okay, I get it. I'm being a bit of a hen."

"Really, I do have everything, but if I forget something, I'll take care of it."

"I know you will."

"Da, thank you again for letting me do this. I am really looking forward to helping Bann Vernon establish his riding stable."

"Bann Vernon is lucky to have you. I'll miss you."

"I'll miss you, too Da." Alistair swung into the saddle. "See you at the end of the summer!"

Teagan watched Alistair go. _Maker's sake, he's 18 summers. Where has the time gone?_

**~oOOo~**

Bann Vernon McCarty was a tall, thickset man, with greying hair, a neatly trimmed beard and mustache, and a broad smile. _I've always liked Bann Vernon. He has a great sense of humor and is one of the better Banns in southern Ferelden._ Alistair had dismounted and watched the Bann limping towards him. _Maker's breath, who is the woman next to him? She's stunning._

"Alistair, welcome! My wife is visiting with her sister and should return tomorrow; this is my daughter. Eleanora, please meet Bann Teagan's son, Alistair, soon to be Ser Alistair. Alistair this is my daughter Eleonora."

"Good to see you, again Bann Vernon! Pleased to meet you, My Lady." _Why is my throat suddenly dry?_

"Oh, you can just call me Nora." She giggled.

 _The Bann doesn't look too happy with that idea._ "Well, then it is a pleasure to meet you, _Lady_ Nora."

Nora rolled her eyes and chuckled.

"Bann Vernon, I hope your knee is healing?"

"My knee is coming along well. How is your father?"

"Busy, but well. I need to settle-in Star Dancer and meet with the grooms. Later, if you are amenable, we can discuss your plans for the stable?"

"Perfect! We can talk over dinner. Eleonora, could you show Alistair to the stables, please?"

"Certainly, Father. my lord, please follow me."

_She has very, very nice hips…the way they sway…_

"Alistair, I've been learning dressage at University and it has piqued my interest in learning more about horses. Could I tag along this afternoon?"

Alistair startled briefly, blushing furiously. "Oh…Of course, Lady Nora."

"Please, it's just Nora."

Alistair rubbed the back of his neck. "Ah, your father didn't look too happy with that idea."

"Oh poo. Then call me Nora when we're alone."

 _I doubt the Bann wants me to be alone with you either._ "Okay, only when we're alone."

**~oOOo~**

_30 Bloomingtide, 9:28 Dragon_

_Father,_

_I hav_ e _had always enjoyed working with horses, but the ability to teach others is new and I have to admit to feeling a certain sense of pride as I watch the grooms' confidence increase. They overcame their fear of the large Forders_ _and have begun to find the same joy I do in working with the horses._

_Star Dancer has settled in well. It's clear that he both knows and loves that he is the only stallion and I doubt he will have any trouble covering both of Bann Vernon's mares._

_Bann Vernon and his wife send their regards, as does his daughter Eleanora._

_Write again soon,_

_Alistair_

**~oOOo~**

**Two-month later**

"Al, where did you find this hair clip? It's so pretty, and my favorite color! Can you put it in my hair?" Eleanora playing the coquette grinned at Alistair as he fastened the beaded clip into her black hair.

He then took her hand and kissed it. "It looks beautiful. But you make everything look beautiful, Nora."

"I bet you say that to all the women."

"Nope – only those with black hair, chocolate brown eyes and who are named Eleanora."

She put her arms around Alistair's neck. "Well, then I am very lucky to match that rather specific description." She leaned in and kissed him.

Alistair walked her back a foot until she was leaning against the large beech tree. Their horses were drinking from the stream as they took a break from their ride.

The kiss quickly became heated. "Al please, I want you. Lay with me?"

Alistair drew back. "No, Nora. As much as I want to…and I _really_ want to, but I don't want our first time together to be a quick tumble against a tree."

"Oh poo." Nora said. "Okay, I get it. You're doing the whole gentleman thing, but Al, you are too yummy by half."

Alistair smirked. "Yummy, is it? Am I something you want to eat?"

Nora looked up at him and grinned. "Oh yes, very much so." She knelt in front of Alistair and unlaced his trousers. "Let me show you how much."

Alistair placed his hand on hers. "Nora, what are you doing?

"What do you think?"

Violently blushing when he realized what she was planning. "Oh! Ah, you _don't_ have to do this."

"But I _want_ to do it. Now, move your hand, silly."

Soon, Alistair felt her mouth on him, hot and soft around him. He looked down and met her eyes as she looked up at him. "Maker, Nora that feels so…unh… amazing…!"

As they rode back to the house, whenever Alistair looked at Nora, she smiled knowingly. "I cannot thank you enough for the hair clip, Al."

"I think you thanked me plenty, Nora."

**~oOOo~**

Summer months were coming to when Nora suggested a special picnic lunch.

Alistair looked at Nora suspiciously. They were going out for a picnic – just the two of them. "So where are we going, Nora?"

"Oh, just a place I found where the horses can graze, where there is water, soft grass, and the remains of an old stone wall so _no one_ can see us."

"Oh? What do you not want people to see, my lady?"

"You'll find out soon enough."

The ride was pleasant, and not too long.

"Al, you take care of the horses and I'll set up our picnic."

He kissed her hand. "As my lady wishes." _What is she up to?_

_The horses have room to move and graze and fresh water. Perfect. Now let see what Nora is…holy Andraste!_

Nora had set up the blanket and their lunch, and next to it was another blanket on which Nora lay, wearing nothing save a smile. "Now you know what I didn't want people to see."

 _Keep cool Alistair._ "You wanted to have a picnic lunch in the nude?"

"Well…I didn't plan on being the only one naked." She stood and took Alistair's hand to lead him back to the blanket. "Please, Al. I said I love you, you said you love me. We have all day so it isn't a quick tumble and we aren't against a tree."

 _Maker, I can't think straight. All I see is a woman I love who has beautiful soft skin, that I want to touch…and lick…and…_ I have no idea what I am doing. "Well far be it from me to spoil, a lady's well-made plans."

Nora beamed and began to undress Alistair. Once he was in his smalls he sat down and pull Nora down with him. "You know that I've never done this before?"

"So, you've told me. Kiss me, Alistair."

"How can I refuse?" He pulled her into his arms and began to kiss her, she opened to him her tongue teasing his deepening their kiss.

She nibbled his earlobe. He began to kiss her neck. He felt quiver and sigh.

Nora took his hand and brought it to her breast.

Alistair understood and began to caress it, his palm traveled over he nipple and he felt it harden beneath his hand. He played with the pebbled point and then brought his hand to the other breast.

"Lick them, Al, I want to feel your mouth on them."

 _I know the basics of what to do, but none of the nuances. So, I'll just do everything slowly and carefully, regardless of how hard and ready I already am._ His hands and mouth caressed her skin, from her breasts, over her abdomen, and down her legs. He could see and hear the effect his ministrations were having on her.

She arched, writhed and moaned, especially as he kissed his way up her long firm legs, to the inside of her thighs, where he found her hot center hidden behind black curls. _As if I have found some kind of treasure, I wonder what she tastes like._

He gently licked at her center finding a nubbin of skin that became swollen when he licked. She moaned and thrust her hips and placed her hand in his hair guiding his mouth. He saw her neck arch; she whimpered and started to pant.

She could barely speak. " _Al-is-tair don't stop…I'm so close."_ Suddenly she cried out and her thighs clamped down on his head; he could feel her juices flow over his tongue.

Looking up he said, "You taste _wonderful_."

"I need you inside me, please Al." She reached out and guided his very hard member to her core.

Alistair said, "I know this might hur…"

She cut him off with a searing kiss as he slowly entered her.

Barely able to control himself, he slowly started to move, but Nora urged him on with her hips, making him move faster and deeper, making her moan and writhe underneath him. Alistair was close to his release; Nora said, "harder." After that, all Alistair heard were his cries and hers as he felt his release.

They were lying next to each other, panting, then Alistair rolled onto his side. "Are you sure I didn't hurt you? I…I know the first time can hurt a woman."

Nora didn't look directly at him. She said, "You didn't hurt me at all… I guess you're…a natural."

**~oOOo~**

Teagan wrote in his journal after Alistair came home.

_Alistair wants to ask Eleanora McCarty to marry him. I have to say I'm surprised. As I recall, Vernon sent Eleonora to Orlais because she carried on with two of Bryland's Knights. One of the knights challenged the other to a duel and was promptly released from Bryland's service._

_Perhaps her year in Orlais helped her grow up._

_I suggested to Alistair that he write to Vernon and ask for Eleanora's hand._

Vernon wrote back

 _August 1_ _st_ _9:29 Dragon  
_ _Bann Teagan Guerrin  
_ _Rainesfere_

_Dear Teagan,_

_After I received Alistair's letter I spoke with my daughter. Apparently, she failed to tell Alistair why she went to Orlais. I had hoped she had been sincere in her feelings for Alistair. However, she admitted that she is involved with someone in Orlais. My sources tell me it is Bryland's former Knight._

_I am ashamed of my daughter's behavior, and for the hurt it may cause your son. Alistair is an honorable man and if circumstances were different I would have been proud to have him as my son-in-law._

_Given this situation, I would understand if you want me to return Star Dancer._

_Yours in service,_

_Bann Vernon McCarty_

Teagan called Alistair to his study after reading Vernon's letter. _Maker, I hope this does not embitter Alistair._ "Son, I received this letter from Bann McCarty. It would seem that Lady Eleanora wasn't entirely truthful with you."

Alistair read the letter. The muscles in his jaw tightened. He handed the note back to his father and said, "Da, this isn't Vernon's fault, it's mine. Please don't ask him to return Star Dancer."

"If you don't want me to, then I will not ask."

"Should I write to Bann Vernon?"

"No, Son. I'll write to him. Do you want to talk about it?"

"Not right now. I was heading to the stable take Biscuit on another training ride. Is that alright?"

"Of course! Whatever you need."

"Thanks, Da."

Alistair spent the next three days working with the horses. On the fourth day after the letter from Bann McCarty, Alistair came to Teagan. "Da, can we talk?"

 _This must be about Eleanora._ "Of course. Do you want to go to the tavern?"

"How about we talk here and _then_ go to the Tavern?"

Sitting in his father's study, Alistair looked up at the ceiling, then to Teagan. "I've been going over everything. I should have realized that she wasn't as innocent as she led on, but it never occurred to me to doubt that what I was feeling. Every time I thought about her, every time I was with her, it was like I couldn't breathe. I felt like my head was going to explode and I couldn't think straight.

"Clearly though if it were really love, I would be more disappointed than I am. I think that it was more lust than love. I am hurt that she lied to me but I think I was lying to myself. Da, what is love _supposed_ to feel like?"

"Well, feeling like your head is going to explode and not thinking straight will still happen, but it won't be the only thing you feel. You should also feel a sense of… _rightness_ ; for want of a better word, the person feels like home."

"Is it my fault that you haven't married, yet?"

Teagan looked surprised. "Why do you think my not being married would be your fault?"

Alistair looked down at his feet, then at Teagan.

 _I can see it in his eyes._ "What did Isolde say?"

"That no woman of quality would marry you with a bastard child under your roof."

Teagan swallowed his anger at Isolde and gently said, "Alistair, if a woman did not want to be with me because of you, then she isn't a woman of quality."

"I know…I shouldn't listen to Arlessa Isolde. She just…"

"Makes it hard not to hear her."

Alistair nodded, then chuckled. "How about that pint?"


	5. Answering Honor's Call

**Chapter 5 = = Answering Honor's Call = = 9:29**

Teagan was having a glass of port with Bryce. "This time tomorrow, my son will be a knight. Wasn't it just yesterday that Aedan and Alistair decided they couldn't wait for winter and decided to get into a mud-ball fight? They were covered in so much mud that aside from Alistair being taller, it was difficult to tell them apart."

Bryce laughed. "Oh yes, I could hear Nan yelling at them from the other side of the castle. She poured buckets of cold water over each of them until the worst of the mud was off and she could send them to bathe."

"Or what about the time they filched an entire wheel of cheese to see who could eat the most? I think they got a third of the way through the wheel before they were full enough to be ill."

"Ah! According to Aedan, he dared Alistair to have one more bite, which he did and then promptly got sick all over himself and Aedan. Then they had a contest to see who could throw up the farthest."

"They were scamps, but no worse than I was at that age," Teagan smirked.

"Yes, didn't you tell me that you and your cousin were collectively named Trouble?"

**~oOOo~**

After he finished the ritual bath, Alistair dressed, now wearing white vestments and a red robe. _White for purity, and red for nobility. I wonder where that tradition started? I have wanted to be a knight for so long and now it's going to happen; this time tomorrow I will be a knight, an actual knight._

There was a knock at the door:

"Come in."

It was Teagan and Ser Colum.

Teagan looked at his son in the vestments and robe and smiled. "Are you ready to go to the chapel for your vigil?"

Taking a deep breath and let it out, Alistair nodded. "Yes, I am. I really am."

Ser Colum grinned. "You are more than ready, Alistair." He gestured to the door "Shall we?"

Teagan and Colum escorted Alistair to the smaller of the two palace chapels. When they arrived, Alistair saw that the sword and shield that he would be given after he received his knighthood were on top of a small altar which sat in the middle of a small platform. On the platform in front of the altar was a kneeling pillow.

Colum spoke, "Alistair of Rainesfere, Knight Candidate, you now begin your vigil. This vigil is a time for prayer and supplication, for self-reflection, and self-dedication. By custom, your vigil will end after dawn when Bann Teagan and I arrive to take you to the main palace chapel."

With a nod to Ser Colum and his Father, Alistair he knelt before the altar.

In the morning, his father and Ser Colum came for him. Together they went to the main palace chapel where Cailan and Anora sat in the royal seats. The sword and shield, which had been in the small chapel, were now on the main altar. _I expected to feel tired and sore but instead, I'm clear-headed and invigorated, and very, very humble._

Teagan took in the other attendees. _I knew that_ _Loghain and Celia, Bryce, and Eleanor; Fergus Oriana and Oren and Aedan would be here. Eamon claimed to be suffering from Frost cough. I didn't expect, Wulf and Bryland. Nor Alfstana, Sigard, and McCarty, and what looks like half the southern Bannorn._

Alistair sat with his father and Ser Colum in the front of the chapel for a chantry service and special sermon on becoming a knight.

After the sermon, the King and Queen were now seated on the thrones in front of the altar and the revered mother blessed the sword and shield. When Cailan and Anora stood, the Herald spoke. "Alistair of Rainesfere, candidate for knighthood, come forward and kneel before the King and Queen."

Once Alistair was on his knees before Anora and Cailan, Cailan grinned. "Alistair, you have been deemed fit for this high estate by your peers and have indicated your willingness to accept this honor from Our hands. Do you now swear by the Maker and the Blessed Andraste, his Bride, that you will honor and defend Rainesfere, the Crown, and the Kingdom of the Ferelden?"

Alistair, responded as instructed. "I will."

"That you will honor, defend, and protect all those weaker than yourself?"

"I will."

"That you will be courteous and honor your peers of the Chivalry?"

"I will."

"That you will conduct yourself in all matters as befits a knight of Rainesfere and of the Realm, drawing your sword only for just cause?"

"I will."

"That you will enshrine in your heart the noble ideals of Chivalry to the benefit of your own good name and the greater glory of Ferelden?"

"I will."

Cailan drew Maric's Blade and held it out in front of him, above Alistair. "Then having sworn these solemn oaths, know now that We, Calian and Anora, King and Queen of Ferelden, do dub you with King Maric's sword, and by the Maker and the Blessed Andraste, his Bride...

"Once for Honor

"Twice for Duty

"Thrice for Chivalry.

"Arise, Ser Alistair of Rainesfere, Knight of the Realm." Cailan sheathed Maric's Blade.

Anora gestured to the shield being held by Ser Colum. "Accept this shield, symbolizing your oath to protect and to defend all those weaker than yourself."

The shield was handed to Alistair.

Ser Column took an amulet from around his neck and gave it to Cailan. "Accept from my hands this amulet, passed from knight to knight, for each knight is a link in the honor of Fereldan. It symbolizes your fealty to Bann, Crown, and Kingdom. Take this amulet and so swear."

Cailan held the amulet out to Alistair.

Grasping it with both hands, Alistair began, "This day do I, Alistair of Rainesfere, render homage and fealty to my Sovereign Lord and Lady, Cailan and Anora, King and Queen of Ferelden and to my liege Bann Teagan Guerrin of Rainesfere, who will, from this day forward, be my Liege Lords and Lady.

"I will remain true in all ways, serving them faithfully. This do I swear, by my shield and my honor and by the high ideals which I hold as a Knight of this Realm. So, say I, Ser Alistair of Rainesfere."

Cailan nodded. "We accept your homage and fealty and pledge to you that from this day forward until the end of Our Reign you are Our Liege man that We will honor your order and defend your rights as a Knight, and that We will protect the trust that you have placed in Us, mighty with justice, tempered with mercy."

Teagan stepped forward with a sword handing it to Alistair hilt first. "Accept this sword, Honor's Call, which shall symbolize your prowess at arms. Remember well: that the sword of the Chivalry should be drawn only in defense of the bann or realm, or of those weaker than yourself. Wear it with care. Wield it with mercy and with honor."

 _The_ second Alistair held the sword he was filled with a sense of rightness. _This_ _is what I am meant to do._

Cailan said, "May this be the last blow you receive unanswered." He then delivered a sharp punch to Alistair's shoulder.

"Go now and greet your Peers!"

Bryce stood. "For Ser Alistair, Three Cheers!"

Everyone stood and cheered, "Hip Hip Huzzah! Hip Hip Huzzah! Hip Huzzah!"

After the grand feast that followed, Alistair and Teagan retired to guest rooms in the palace. Teagan looked at his son, and a tear came to his eye. Quickly wiping it away he said, "My son, I am so very proud of you, for what you've accomplished and what you will accomplish. I am truly blessed and humbled to be your foster father."

Alistair smiled. "I believe you can drop the foster. _You_ are my father, and the only one I wish or need to have."

* * *

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The knighting ceremony is head-canon, informed by history, and by ceremonies in the Society for Creative Anachronism (SCA). Thank you to my awesome Beta ElyssaCousland. Next chapter we meet Emmalynn.


	6. Circle of Friends

**Chapter 6 = = A Circle of Friends = = Haring 9:29 to Wintermarch 9:30**

"Are you excited about finally getting to teach the advanced primal magic class, Rana?" Emmalynn grinned sitting across from her best friend, a pale elven man with white-blond hair and mischief in his eyes.

"Yeah. Maybe they'll let me teach combination spells."

"Good luck convincing Irving that the Storm of the Century is essential to the primal curriculum."

"I was thinking about that; seeing as how you are now a _senior_ enchanter maybe you can put in a good word for me? Having a dignified old woman like you on my side could only help."

"Old woman?! I'm only 20. Besides, you're a year older than me so if I'm old you're older!"

"Yes, but I wasn't harrowed at 13. Face it, M, they are going to groom you to be the next First Enchanter."

Emmalynn looked horrified. "Maker, I hope not. I have a hard enough time making friends. That's why I like working with the Apprentices. I can at least _talk_ to them."

"You know, you do just fine when you are working with people, healing them, and listening to their problems."

"Rana, I'm an Andrastian Circle mage who regularly attends services, and embraces being a mage. On a _good_ day, people think I'm weird. On a bad day…"

"Look. I know Uldred has said some nasty things to you. Next time go to Greagoir, not Irving."

"I'm not worried about Uldred saying nasty things. I was very clear what I thought about him and his megalomaniacal tendencies. Now he just believes I'm beneath him and not worthy of his notice."

"Really? You called Uldred a megalomaniac? Good for you! Most of us just avoid him. Oh, by the way, did I read the schedule right - you are teaching intro _and_ intermediate Creation classes? Isn't that a lot?"

"No, I really do love teaching, and I'm pretty good at it."

"You are good at it." After sipping his tea, his mouth twisted into a smirk. "Then again, you took over from Enchanter Wyles who was known to nod off while lecturing…so it's a low bar."

"Rana!" Emmalynn laughed and tossed a small cube of roasted turnip at him, which bounced off his nose and splash-landed in his tea."

"Yuck! I have to drink _that_ and I hate Turnips." After removing the offending piece of root vegetable from his tea Surana looked up. "Good aim though."

**~oOOo~**

Sitting on her desk looking out at the scared and uncertain expressions of her young students, Emmalynn gave encouraging smile. "Welcome to Creation!"

Several of the apprentices smiled, a coupled chuckled.

"I have some housekeeping items. First, when we're in class please call me Emmalynn. Second, I don't tend to do much lecturing; if there are things I want you to take notes on, I'll tell you.

"As we start the semester, I want you to know that some of you will really excel at creation magic, some not so much, and a few may not resonate with it at all, and that is perfectly okay. It is also okay if you hate creation magic. What does matter is you give it an honest try. Are you all willing to do that?"

A chorus of yeses sounded from the students.

"Good. Now, I want to get to the activity that we will do the beginning of each class. I call it 'Ask me anything'."

Several students looked surprised; most had furrowed brows. _Every year, I see the same skeptical looks–they are far too young to be that guarded. Perhaps if the children experience kindness when they arrive…one of the many ways our Circle fails children._

"So why do I do this? When I came here I was nine and I knew nothing about circles and I knew no one. I had so many questions that I was too afraid to ask. Some questions were answered over time, some answers I figured out the hard way. I vowed that if I was ever allowed to teach or mentor I would always have a period of time where I can be asked anything.

"Ask me Anything has two rules: First, be honest. Second, respect your classmates – that means you will not laugh at any question asked and you will respect their privacy outside of the class. In return, I promise you that if I don't know the answer, I will tell you so, and then find out the answer to share during the next class." _Good, they look interested!_

"Okay, let's get started."

After a minute or so, one hand hesitantly went up.

"Alina, what's your question?"

"Who sent you here?"

Emmalynn's tone still carried echoes of the sadness, anger, and fear, "My father saw me heal a bird's broken wing. He was _very_ angry and immediately called the templars. My mother was in tears as the templars took me away, but my dad just looked relieved."

Another hand slowly went up.

"Viola?"

"Were the templars mean to you?"

_Hmm, I will talk to Viola later to see if her Templars may have been the nasty kind._ "They were mean but not cruel. I was not as tall and I am now and I was rather curvy, so they called me Pudgy, Pudge, or Pudding - that was mean, especially as they never used my actual name.

"They rode horses and typically I rode with one or the other. Sometimes, they made me walk while they rode. They told me the exercise would make me less pudgy. I said if that's so, they would have to stop calling me Pudgy. They didn't really have an answer for that, but they didn't punish me for saying it. Like I said, mean but not cruel.

"Nora?"

"What spirit helps you heal?"

"Hope. She found me during my harrowing and it's Hope that lends me the power to heal."

"Do you like being a healer?" Nora asked

"I know this may sound sappy, but I love being able to help others; healing is one way I can do that."

Nora grinned. "I want to heal people, too."

"Then you are in the right class and I look forward to teaching you how."

_Several hands are up now. Let's see…whose hand has been raised the longest._

"Liam?"

Fear wove through Liam's words. "How… old were you when you had your harrowing and… what…was it like?"

"I was 13. I can't tell you what it's like because it's different for everyone. While we are on the subject, who is worried or even scared about your harrowing?" Emmalynn raised her hand. "I know I was."

One student raised their hand, then two, then five, then the rest of the students raised their hands.

"You already know that I am the one who guides and advises apprentices? Okay, then know this: _None_ of you will go through harrowing until I know you can succeed. You will not be rushed. You will not be forced. You will go through _your_ Harrowing when _you_ are ready. You have my promise."

"Apprentices?"

Everyone turned to look at the Templar, standing guard by the door.

"Since Senior Enchanter Amell became the advisor for apprentices, no one has failed their harrowing or been made Tranquil."

The students looked back to Emmalynn, who smiled. "We have time for one more question. Remember, we will do this at the start of each class.

"Ellis?"

"Why don't you have a lot of friends?"

_Observant._ "Because I am _painfully_ shy in social situations with people my age or older. I don't know why, but I was like that before I came to the Circle. I have people I'm pals with, however, Enchanter Surana is my only close friend."

Ellis asked. "Does Enchanter Surana have a first name?"

"Yes, but he doesn't use it." _Only me Irving and Greagoir know his first name – he hates it. Good, they look far more relaxed._ "Okay, then let's start."

**~oOOo** ~

After class, Emmalynn nodded to Ser Cullen. "Thank you for your comment."

"It's the truth, Senior Enchanter."

"Having it corroborated helped them relax more."

"At first, I was concerned about this 'ask anything' idea but the apprentices are much calmer. Fewer accidents and fewer temptations."

"That was my hope. Thanks again for your help, Ser."

**~oOOo~**

"Your Majesty?"

Calian looked up at his Chancellor's worried expression. _And today was going so well._ "What is it, Avery?"

"The Grey Warden Commander of Ferelden is here, requesting an emergency audience."

_That's not good._ "Please alert the Queen and ask her to join me in the audience chamber."

Cailan was in the robing room behind the throne when Anora met him. "Cailan, do you know what the Warden Commander wants?"

"No, but if it involves the wardens it must be about darkspawn."

Anora sighed. Cailan reached to pull her into a hug. "My Love, whatever it is, we will deal with it."

"We always do. But today was going so well."

Cailan chuckled. "I had the exact same thought when Avery found me."

**~oOOo~**

_14 Wintermarch, 9:30 Dragon_  
_Loghain MacTir, Teyrn  
_ _Gwaren_

_Dear Father,_

_The Warden-Commander spoke to us today and explained that a possible Blight was beginning in Southern Ferelden, near Ostagar._

_Cailan is drafting a formal Call to Arms. His plan is to lead the Royal army to Ostagar. He wants you to lead the Gwaren forces directly to Ostagar. Do not come to Denerim first._

_I know how much you distrust the Wardens and believe they are merely Orlesian puppets. Honestly, between Cailan's complete reverence and your total contempt lies the real Grey Wardens. I choose to believe the Warden Commander and urge you to do so as well._

_Also, Cailan is excluding Arl Eamon from the summons_. _Cailan said, and I agree, that we_ _"neither want nor need Arl Eamon at Ostagar as he would only be there to seek glory."_

_Love,  
_ _Anora_

**~~~Call to Arms~~~**

_Bryce Cousland, Teyrn of Highever_  
_Loghain MacTir, Teyrn of Gwaren_  
_Leonas Bryland, Arl of South Reach_  
_Rendon Howe, Arl of Amaranthine and Allied Banns_  
_Urien Kendells, Arl of Denerim_  
_Gel Lendon, Arl of Edgehall and Allied Banns_  
_Voychek Neruda, Arl of Stenhold and Allied Bann  
_ _Gallagher Wolfe, Arl of Western Hills_

**Unallied Banns**  
_Bann Elara of Calon_  
_Bann Franderel of West Hills_  
_Bann Ceorlic of Southern Bannorn  
_ _Bann Sigard of Dragon's Peak_

_On this, the 14_ _th_ _day of Wintermarch of the 30_ _th_ _year of the 9_ _th_ _age:_

_We have been informed by the Grey Warden Commander of Ferelden of a Blight beginning in southern Ferelden_. _This Blight must end before it destroys Ferelden. We call you to lead your armies to the fortress at Ostagar, where you will be joined Our Royal Army. Please make haste._

_May Andraste's blessings be with you and with Ferelden._  
_Cailan Theirin, Rex_  
_Anora MacTir Theirin, Regina  
_ _Ferelden_

_~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~_

 

_**~Under the Seal of Elemena, Grand-Cleric of Ferelden~** _

_Knight-Commander Greagoir_

_On this the 15_ _th_ _day of Wintermarch, of the 30_ _th_ _year of the 9_ _th_ _age, as Grand-Cleric of Ferelden, I Elemena, support his Majesty's Call to Arms as detailed below._

**~~~Call to Arms~~~**

_Knight-Commander Greagoir  
_ _First Enchanter Irving_

_On this, the 14_ _th_ _day of Wintermarch of the 3o_ _th_ _year of the Dragon Age:_

_We have been informed by the Grey Warden Commander of Ferelden of a Blight beginning in southern Ferelden_. _This Blight must end before it destroys Ferelden. We call on you to send your best mages and templar escorts to the fortress at Ostagar. There they will join Our Royal Army to root out this evil from our lands. Please make haste._

_May Andraste's blessings be with you and with Ferelden._

_Cailan Theirin, Rex_  
_Anora Theirin, Regina  
_ _Ferelden_

**~oOOo~**

She was standing in Irving's office, confused and uncertain. "To Ostagar? Why?

"Emmalynn, the King has called for our senior mages to help the King's army fight what could be the beginning of a Blight.

"Maker! A Blight, Irving?"

"So, it would seem. You are the best healer we have; Wynne is our next best. You are both needed."

"But what about the apprentices? Who will advise them?"

"Surana and I will take care of them until you come back."

"Considering Rana is the best primal mage we have, I'm glad he's staying here…just in case."

"My thoughts exactly."

**~oOOo~**

Hugging each other tightly, Rana whispered, "You take care of yourself, M. Stay safe."

"I'm a healer…I don't know if that puts me near the front line or behind it. But I will come back, Rana. I promise."

He smirked. "Good, because I do not want to permanently play _mommy_ to all the apprentices."

She put a hand to her heart, aping a valent warrior. "Worry not. My Prince… I shall return and save you from such a _horrible_ fate."

"You'd better!"


	7. Panic and Death at Ostagar

**Chapter 7 = = Panic and Death in Ostagar = = Wintermarch – Drakonis 9:30**

On the road to Ostagar, the Senior Enchanters Wynne, Torrin, Uldred, and Emmalynn traveled as a group led by Knight-Captain Hadley. Ser Allyn, Ser Bran, and Ser Drass primarily stayed with the enchanters including Enchanter, Alondra, a creation mage who had been one of Emmalynn's apprentices. Alondra's mentee Cera, a newly harrowed mage, stayed near her mentor at all times.

"You just became a Senior Enchanter. It has only been three months since you were presented to the Divine, and now we go into a battle to defeat a Blight." Wynne shook her head.

"Well, this is what senior enchanters can be called to do. I know of no more important service I can use my magic for then the defense of those who are going into battle. I'm not a battle mage like Uldred and Torrin, but I can heal and protect those who fight." Sighing, she continued, "I just wish Anders could come with us, but Greagoir wouldn't let him out."

"You and Anders were my most gifted students, but Anders…well…." Wynne shook her head.

"I've been your student since I arrived at the Circle and I will _always_ be your student because you will always have things you want me to learn." Smiled affectionately at her sometimes mother-hen-like mentor.

"Not in healing and creation magic, child. You can do things I will never be able to do."

"A wise woman once told me 'Being a mage is more than spells and study. It is also about wisdom and how to learn from experience, and never believe that you have nothing left to learn.'"

"It is a lesson you took to heart."

"You didn't give me much choice." Emmalynn chuckled. "Speaking of lessons, I'm glad Rana has become a mentor. He told me it's giving him a renewed sense of purpose."

"You and Surana have been as close as siblings since you came to the Tower. I worried that your friendship would not survive your rapid advancement."

"It helped that one of the first jobs after my harrowing was helping heal the inevitable accidents in the primal magic classes, so I still got to see Rana. Now that he is mentoring, it gives us an excuse to swap notes, so to speak."

"I have to say the "Ask me anything" idea is a very effective mentoring technique. It's something we should have thought of earlier. We know that fear and doubt are the true dangers for Apprentices, and the fear and doubt are usually due to a lack of information and just plain reassurance."

"Sometimes it helps to have fresh eyes on a problem."

"Indeed. I wish you would join the Aequitarians. You are more devout than many but you also take a more reformed view on the Chantry. I have to say some of us were concerned you would actually identify as a loyalist."

"I'm not comfortable being a member of any of the fraternities, but I absolutely would never be a loyalist – that would be like denying I'm a mage. Being an isolationist is antithetical to being a healer. In any case, I attend chantry services far more than any other non-templar, but it renews me. It fills me with, well, hope."

"And that is why Hope found you."

Torrin scoffed. "Hope! The Maker punished all of us for the actions of seven stupid magisters. The result of that punishment has returned after 400 years. We all know the number of Ferelden wardens are still low. What is there to be hopeful about, save for a quick death, and not contracting Blight sickness?"

"See that's the thing, Torrin. Hope is not necessarily about something in the immediate future, nor is it something that one may have actively hoped for."

"I'm not convinced. But you've always been a bit of idealist."

**~oOOo~**

"There is the tower of Ishal! I've read about ancient Tevinter fortresses, but I never thought I'd see one!"

Wynne chuckled. "You're gushing, Emmalynn."

"Ah, an admirer of Tevinter." Uldred purred as he walked behind her.

_The man nauseates me_. Emmalynn quoted from the Chant, loudly enough so Uldred would hear her.

" _Surrounded by glory the Seven stood,  
__In the hall of apotheosis, heedless  
__Of what festered in the shadows they cast there,  
__Of what stained and corroded footprints they left._

_And so is the Golden City blackened_  
_With each step you take in my Hall._  
_Marvel at perfection, for it is fleeting._  
_You have brought Sin to Heaven  
_ _And doom upon all the world."_

Uldred red-faced stomped ahead of the group.

Ser Allyn chuckled. "I don't believe a Chanter could have done better."

"And you keep saying you're too shy." Wynne patted her on the shoulder.

"Wynne, I cannot be shy when dealing with the likes of _him_. I _am_ shy around people in social situations, and particularly with people I don't know, people who are my age, people who are older, or people who are positions of authority. Pretty much everyone I don't know, that is my age or older."

"Given the racket coming from Ostagar, it sounds like you'll have plenty of practice being around people you don't know," Torrin remarked.

She gulped _._ _Torrin is right!_

It wasn't long until they reached the massive complex of Ostagar, where three soldiers stood guard.

"Good! They look bored." Emmalynn observed.

Enchanter Jasper looked puzzled. "Why is that _good_?"

"It's good because if there were any battles currently raging they might look tense or worried, but not bored."

Enchanter Jasper's expression brightened. "May they stay bored."

Knight-Captain Hadley motioned for the group to stop as he went to address the guards.

One nodded. "Welcome to Ostagar. Are you the mages and templars from Kinloch or Jainen?

"Kinloch. I am Knight-Captain Hadley."

"Knight-Captain, I am Guardsman Avery. These here are guardsman Lloyd and Turner." Avery pointed to his right and left as he introduced them.

"Well met."

"You as well. Your assigned area is just across the bridge and to the right."

"Thank you, Guardsman Avery."

Wynne shouted to be heard "Well, we seemed to have found the source of the noise!" She pointed to the field below the bridge. Rising from the field was a cacophony of clacking metal, shouting soldiers, and groaning injured, and it all reverberated against the walls of the ancient fortress.

Emmalynn looked across the bridge and saw a sea of tents and people. She paled as the sights combined with the sounds to create terrifying swirling chaos. _Andraste, give me strength!_

"Emmalynn don't just stand there gawking, keep moving." Wynne gently pushed her shoulder.

Startled, she turned away from the frightening chaos. "What…oh…right...yes…sorry." _I didn't even realize I'd stopped._

After crossing the bridge Emmalynn looked around. _It's like a city, but instead of buildings, there are tents of every shape, size, and color._ "Wynne …where are our tents?"

"What? ...Oh, ours are the ones with blue flags," Wynne answered distractedly.

Emmalynn wandered in that general direction. _They all look the same; which tent is for sleeping?_

"Emmalynn, I found our tent." Enchanter Alondra came up beside her and pointed out the large tent to their right.

"Thank you!"

She and Alondra entered the tent where there were eight cots, each with a chest at its foot.

"Choose any cot that isn't already taken."

Relieved to have found the tent Emmalynn smiled. "Thank you, Alondra."

"I'm off to find the potions tent. See you at dinner, Emmalynn."

Emmalynn nodded. "See you then." _Alondra has always been so adventurous!_ Claiming a cot at the wall farthest from the entrance, she placed her knapsack down, then changed into her regular robes. _Sakes alive! Noises are coming from every direction._ _Maybe I can nick some candle wax and make earplugs._

Suddenly, from nearby the tent was a crash of breaking glass, followed by a blaze of swearing, both sounds rising above the already imposing din of the encampment. Startled by the noise, Emmalynn began to panic. _Oh no. I can't go out there. But I have to…no….no…I can't …. too many people…no way….no…no…_

Emmalynn curled up on her cot, covering her ears with her hands. At the same time, the area above her upper lip was sweating and her heart rate soared. After a few moments, tears welled up in her eyes. _All I want to do is run away from here and go back to Kinloch...but I can't. I have a duty._ After taking some deep breaths, Hope helped her calm a bit and Emmalynn was able to whisper.

" _I have heard the sound  
__A song in the stillness  
__The echo of your voice,  
__Calling creation to wake from its slumber._

" _Maker, though the darkness comes upon me,  
__I shall embrace the Light. I shall weather the storm.  
__I shall endure  
__What you have created…."_

She repeated the verses over and over and became calmer and calmer.

When she next opened her eyes, it was dark in the tent. Emmalynn sat up. _I must have fallen asleep_ _and_ s _omeone put a blanket over me. I wonder what time it is?_

"Emmalynn, it's the middle of the night. Go back to sleep," Wynne whispered.

Peering into the dark, she saw Wynne's gray hair reflecting what little light was in the tent. _Ah! She is on the cot next to mine._ "Thank you for the blanket," she whispered.

"You're welcome…now sleep."

"I will." _Despite missing supper, I'm more sleepy than hungry._

The sound of a large bell startled Emmalynn awake. It was morning and the din of the encampment quickly assaulted her ears and her heart rate sped up in response.

"Good morning. How did you sleep?"

Emmalynn tried to keep the terror from her voice. "Ah…uh…okay, Wynne. And you?"

"Just fine. Up you get, we have a busy day."

_Why can't I move? I feel like I am frozen in place…I can't move…can't think…voices…sounds everywhere…_ "Uh…Wynne…I ca…can't…I can't …I can't do it… there are too many people!"

Wynne frowned and admonished, "You have no choice. You _will_ come with me as we assist the King and his army during their morning drills. You cannot get used to crowds if you hide from them!"

_Healing…I need to heal…I am a healer…I have a duty._ Emmalynn took a deep breath and let it out. Hope helped steady her. "Of course, Wynne. I'm…sorry for the outburst."

"I know it is hard to take it all in after living in the Circle." Wynne tone softened. "It will get better, I promise."

**~oOOo~**

_**Ostagar Day 1** _

_Wynne suggested I write about my fears and maybe I can figure out how to cope._

_Today, I was healing soldiers. Once I was there, in the thick of things, talking with the soldiers, commanders, other mages, and templars, I was calm, collected, focused. Once we left to go back our encampment, my heart beat faster and all I wanted to do was run back to our tent and hide under the covers._

_It feels like walls closing in on me, but instead of walls, it's people._

_Why does the presence of so many people only terrify me when I am not working?_

 

_**Ostagar Day 2** _

_Today, I had to heal General MacTir once and King Cailan twice. Both told me that they were very impressed with my skills. I, of course, couldn't bring myself to make eye contact with either the renowned general or the king. I blushed, curtsied and stammered a thank you._

_That reaction I'm familiar with – that's me being shy and embarrassed._

_However, on the way back…just like yesterday, I couldn't get back the tent fast enough. Once I got there I spent several candle marks getting my pulse to slow down enough to be able to have supper with the other mages. At super I was generally quiet; again, that's me being shy._

_After dinner, Wynne told us that not all the armies are here yet and the King doesn't expect them for another few weeks! I need to figure out how to deal with this panic, I can't go through this for the next month._

 

_**Ostagar Day 5** _

_I have been too tired to write. However, if I were to have written, these would be the entries:_

_**Ostagar Day 3:** _ _Same as Day 2_

_**Ostagar Day 4:** S_ _ame as Day 3_

_And here is the pattern: I wake up and have a light meal. I follow Wynne out of the encampment as my heart starts to pummel my ribs, and my stomach tries to eject my breakfast. Once we get to the field and the soldiers are drilling or fighting, I spend the day calmly working and am able to eat lunch, talk with the other mages, make potions. However, when the mages are no longer needed the bile rises in my throat, and my heart resumes its hammering. I follow Wynne back to the encampment, where I spend time in the tent collecting myself. I have supper and come back to the tent to go to sleep._

 

_**Ostagar, Day 6** _

_Today Wynne claimed that she was needed at the encampment and would follow later. I think she forced me to go this alone and rely on my wits to get through it. I found a shortcut on our map that would get me to the soldiers faster and avoid large groups of people._

_The short-cut took me past the Grey Warden encampment, which was empty. I don't recall having to heal any Wardens. I wonder if they have their own healers?_

_I came back the same way; the Warden Encampment had more people but still not full. So, the panic factor going and coming was greatly reduced._

_Finding this short-cut leads me to believe that Wynne intentionally uses the more circuitous route. She is taking me through the most populated and noisy areas, all in an effort to force me to get used to the crowds._

_Clearly, if I can do this while working it must be a focus-related problem._

 

_**Ostagar Day 7** _

_Thinking about the need to focus, I decided to recite the Chant on the way to the field and it worked!_

_However, about halfway back to camp, Wynne told me to stop because she was worried that people would be uncomfortable hearing a mage recite the Chant of Light. I would think the opposite would be true, but Wynne has more experience outside of the Circle and seemed pretty definite about it. So, I continued to do it, but silently, not quite as effective as saying it aloud, but it still worked._

_I feel stupid not thinking about using the Chant to help focus since I regularly recite portions of the Chant whether I'm down or I'm happy or worried…or trying to irritate Uldred._

_I guess if I'm being completely honest with myself, I've never had the chance to experience my faith outside of the Circle. My faith gives me comfort, especially as I interpret Transfigurations._

_Magic is a gift of the Maker. If you're a mage, you become a meleficar if you use the gift to hurt someone or to control someone. Mage's have a Maker-given gift that they are to use wisely._

_The comfort I get from my faith while in the Circle should work outside of the Circle. Granted, the whole experience at Ostagar is and continues to be, surreal, but this fear of crowds really took me by surprise. Yes, I'm shy, I get tongue-tied, but I've never panicked and tried to hide._

_So tomorrow I will ~silently~ recite the Chant_

_We shall see._

 

_**Ostagar Day 8** _

_Started with Threnodies 5 – all is well._

 

_**Ostagar Day 16** _

_There were Grey Wardens among those at the sparring grounds today. They have their own healers, also Grey Wardens._

_I am able to go to and from work without the overwhelming panic. Wynne owes it to her getting me used to the crowds, but really, I think it's because I'm focusing on reciting the Chant._

 

_**Ostagar Day 18** _

_Wynne will not let me return to the encampment by myself, because she 'didn't at all like how some of the regular soldiers looked at me.' Now I have Ser Allyn accompany me when Wynne doesn't. This is great because Ser Allyn is the nicest and most polite templar at Kinloch. Perhaps he's so kind because he became a templar after becoming a father?_

_Ser Allyn doesn't have a problem with me reciting chant out loud and recites it with me!_

 

**Ostagar Day 20**

_The soldiers called it a skirmish, but it felt more like a battle. Hard fought, but at least we were able to beat back the darkspawn, with only a few bad injuries, including the King because he is insistent about his fighting on the front line._

 

_**Ostagar Day 23** _

_Today's "skirmish" was deadly. There were two soldiers I couldn't even get to, much less heal. Their squad leader told me that they were 'dead before they hit the ground.' That may even be true, but I couldn't even get close enough to shield them because I had to shield the King. Why doesn't he listen to Teyrn Loghain and stay off the front line? Perhaps if he had, I could have saved those two soldiers. What about when the real battle comes? How many soldiers will we lose because I have to focus on protecting our King – who refuses to stay back and direct the battle!_

**~oOOo~**

"We've been summoned to a war council by General Loghain." Wynne handed her to the note, then put her staff on her back.

Emmalynn looked at the missive and handed it back to Wynne. "I figured battle plans were being drawn, but why do they need us at this meeting?"

"It seems that you and I are the only spirit healers."

"None of the Jainen healers are?"

"None. They have eight healers but none are spirit healers."

"Hmm. Well, they would probably be good for healing the small things and then stabilizing someone who needed more in-depth healing."

"That is my thought as well." Wynne looked at Emmalynn's staff. "It always amazes me that you can work with a staff that is almost half the size of a normal one."

"I only really need it for certain glyphs, and if I need the uh…retractable blade."

"By blade you mean dagger."

"I'm just glad that Greagoir allows it."

"He only allows it because it's _you_."

"What does that mean?"

Wynne looked at the map. "The war council is right around this corner."

_Okay, she is ignoring my question…Sigh_. Stopping at the entrance, she turned to her elderly companion. "Ah, Wynne, did you know the King would be here, too?"

"No, but that shouldn't matter."

The King waved. "Join us! Please meet Warden-Commander Duncan, Royal Army Captain Varel, Ser Cauthrien of Gwaren, Arl Kendells, Arl Bryland, Arl Wulf, and you already know Teyrn Loghain.

"I am Senior Enchanter Wynne." Wynne bowed

Emmalynn curtsied. "I'm Senior Enchanter Amell. How best can we assist during the coming battle?"

Arl Kendells' brow furrowed as he looked at Emmalynn. " _Senior_ Enchanter Amell. How old are you, girl?"

"20 summers, my Lord Arl."

"Then how is it that you are a _senior_ enchanter?"

"If I may?" Wynne volunteered.

The Arl was blunt. "No, I would like to hear it from the girl."

Calmly, Emmalynn explained, "My Lord, I came to the circle when I was nine, after healing a bird's wing. I was 13 when I went through my Harrowing where I was found by a spirit of Hope. I am the youngest spirit healer in the recent history of the Kinloch Circle and I only recently became a senior enchanter.

"If my Lord Arl doubts my abilities, perhaps His Majesty or His Grace, Teyrn Loghain, can offer their own opinions as I have healed them both over the course of the past several weeks." _This is one of the reasons I use my last name in formal settings…I cannot imagine what this Arl would have done if I introduced myself as Senior Enchanter Emmalynn._

Loghain smirked. "Urien, what the lass politely told you is that she is a senior enchanter because she's _that_ good. So, let's just move on."

The Arl grunted.

After the meeting, Wynne shook her head. "Emmalynn, I don't see how you can politely dress down a rude Arl and be articulate, poised, and witty in front of the King and a Teyrn but be so shy in social situations."

"Wynne, like I keep saying: I am _never_ shy when it regards being a healer because it would impinge my abilities to help and to heal."

"I have to say, I was surprised that they want you just behind the front lines and not back in the healing tents."

Emmalynn shrugged. "I think they want me somewhere near the king, without being right in the battle with him."

"I'm still worried."

As they passed by the Grey Warden Encampment they heard. "M! Wynne!"

Emmalynn turned first, not really believing her ears. " _Rana?"_

Wynne saw the Enchanter. "Surana what are you doing _here_ , and in the Grey Warden Encampment?"

"Rana, did something happen at the Circle? Is everyone alright?"

"Something did happen at the Circle, but everyone is fine, and I am going to be a Grey Warden. Please, come to our camp and have a seat. I'll fetch us some tea."

After taking a sip of the warm tea Wynne looked at Surana. "A Grey Warden? I don't understand. Why? What happened at the Circle?"

Her brow furrowed with worry, Emmalynn gently placed her hand on his. _He's sad, angry, joyful, and scared at the same time. What could have happened?_

"Jowan had been acting strange, well stranger than normal. M, remember when I said that I think Jowan was with someone…?"

_With someone else, he means…but Wynne doesn't know about that. "_ Was he seeing someone?"

"Yes, he was with a Chantry Initiate named Lily."

"Sister Lily? Somehow, I'm not surprised," Wynne mused.

Surana arched an eyebrow. "What do you mean?"

"She didn't seem as devout, not like I've seen with other initiates."

"I agree with Wynne. I think she presented a false naivete."

Wynne nodded in agreement. "Go on, Surana."

"Jowan wanted to escape from being made Tranquil and he wanted Lily to go with him. Lily was willing to give up everything to be with him. She knew where the phylacteries were and how to get there."

Wynne scowled "Maker no! How foolish of them."

"Rana, how did you find out about this?"

"Jowan wanted me to help."

" _Help_?" Wynne and Emmalynn said at the same time.

He held up his hand to forestall more questions. "I went to Irving and we hatched a plan. Greagoir is always ready and willing to punish mages, but with templars and initiates he is less inclined to see them in the wrong."

"I have told Greagoir this repeatedly." Wynne shook her head.

"I take it you and Irving wanted him to catch Lily red-handed."

"Exactly, M! Irving, Greagoir, and three templars were waiting for us when we left the basement repositories after Jowan destroyed his phylactery. I knew that Lily wasn't getting off the hook when Greagoir said "the initiate has betrayed us. The chantry will not let this go unpunished.' Which, I completely admit was somewhat satisfying to hear.

"When Irving told the Greagoir that I was there on his orders, Jowan had the temerity to look betrayed and told me not to _dare_ speak to him. I shouted, 'how dare you lie to me!' That is when Greagoir sentenced Jowan to death, and Lily be sent to Aeonar _."_

Wynne looked surprised. "Sending a Chantry initiate to the mage prison. That is rather severe,"

"How did Jowan react to Lily sentence?"

"Badly. He screamed that he wouldn't let anyone touch Lily, then he pulled a dagger from his robes stabbed his hand, and cast a spell that knocked out Irving, Greagoir and the other templars."

"That is a remarkably powerful spell. I have to wonder where learned it?" Wynne shook her head.

"I don't know, but it had to be someone in the Circle because last time I checked there were no books in the Circle library on how to do blood magic. Anyway, Lily was horrified to find Jowan really was a blood-mage.

"I take it Jowan had lied to Lily as well, Rana?"

Surana nodded. "Jowan then admitted to 'dabbling' because he thought it would make him a better mage. Then he begged Lily to stay with him."

"Jowan didn't learn that spell from dabbling, Rana."

"Don't I know it. Anyway, Lily washed her hands of him. Given that everyone except me and Lily was unconscious, Jowan took the opportunity to run away. I would have given chase, but I was concerned about the people Jowan had knocked out. When everyone came to, Greagoir had Lily taken away. That is when the Knight Commander turned on _me_."

"He turned on you, Surana. What did he say?"

"Apparently Greagoir thought I'd made a mockery of the Circle, and Irving reminded him that I was there with Irving's support and approval, but that wasn't enough.

"Given Jowan's escape, I think that Greagoir was using you to get back at Irving for forcing his hand with Lily," Wynne suggested.

"I hadn't thought of that. In any case, this is where Warden-Commander Duncan entered the conversation, he had arrived about two weeks after you'd left. Anyway, he told Greagoir that he was recruiting. Irving had spoken highly me and that he wanted me to join the Wardens.

"Irving encouraged him to recruit you," Wynne stated flatly.

"It would seem. But Greagoir was dead set against it. He said he didn't trust me."

"He didn't trust _you,_ Rana? Why the heck not?"

"He questioned my…friendship with Jowan and then said he would not release "this mage."

"He referred to you as 'mage'? That doesn't sound like Greagoir."

"Well, Wynne, he said exactly that. I got really angry and yelled that I was not some nameless Mage, and if the Grey Wardens will have me, I will happily go. I would rather be somewhere I can use my gift to _serve_ man, not waste it in the Circle.

"Then he said that I was not worthy of joining the Grey Warden ranks. Duncan disagreed and essentially had to conscript me, which is really a technicality because I would have happily joined the Grey Wardens rather than stay in that Circle."

"Then you're happy to be a Grey Warden?" Wynne asked.

"At the moment I'm a Grey Warden recruit. My Joining is tomorrow. But yes, I am happy. I never thought about it before, but after meeting Duncan and talking with him, I found that I could have a purpose beyond just teaching primal magic and mentoring other mages."

Wynne stood up. "Surana, I will miss you, and you will be sorely missed at the Circle. I wish you all the luck in the world. The Grey Wardens are dedicated and they should consider themselves lucky to have you. Now, I'm going to go back to our encampment and leave you two to talk privately. Surana, could you walk Emmalynn back to our encampment?"

Surana stood up. "I will. Take care, Wynne."

"You too, child." They hugged.

Surana sat down and looked across at his best friend.

Emmalynn's throat constricted as she gasped. "I'll miss you, Rana."

"I know, M. I'll miss you too, but I had to do this."

She nodded. "I know. I can't imagine you staying in the Circle after all that. Jowan cheated on you with Lily? Had he completely lost his mind?"

"I don't know, but when he introduced me to Lily, it was like a double punch in the gut. I mean relationships in the Circle are unconventional and given I was a mage and he was still an apprentice it was difficult, but to be with me for a year and then turn around and be with a female, and a chantry initiate at that? Would you believe it was Jowan who begged _me_ to help them be together?"

"Whose idea was it to go to the repository?"

"Lily's. She seemed to be the mastermind behind the 'plan,' as flawed as it was."

"Jowan is a fool. He may have stolen his phylactery but as Anders explained to me there is more to escaping than not being tracked. He is going to be found, one way or another."

"I hope they catch him, because if I see him…"

"I know Rana. I'm guessing you didn't tell the Warden Commander your first name?

"You guessed correctly! Everyone will know me as Surana or Warden Surana.

"You will be a terrific Warden…Hey, now you don't need permission to create the Storm of the Century!" _I am happy for him and I have to focus on his happiness. I have to. It would be selfish of me to focus on my feelings about losing him._

"Oh yes! I have already spoken to another Grey Warden mage and we can prepare a fitting welcome for the Darkspawn. You know I could talk to you all night, but it's late and I promised Wynne to see you safely back to camp. By the way, what is going on with _that_?"

"Wynne said she didn't like how some of the soldiers were looking at me."

"Those had better not be Wardens."

"No… no… regular soldiers, not from the Wardens or Royal Army."

Rana stood up. "Well, let's get you where you need to be."

Just outside of the encampment. Emmalynn stopped them. "Rana, I will miss you, so much. But your happiness is important to me. I think the life you make with the Grey Wardens will bring you far more happiness than would ever be possible in the Circle. Just please take care of yourself."

He hugged her tightly. "I will, M. Damn, it is too hard to say goodbye to you."

Emmalynn pulled back. "You don't have to, Rana. I will do it for both of us. Goodbye, my dearest friend. While I don't know that we will ever see each other again, I know that we each will always have a place in our hearts for the other."

Surana's swallowed and blinked back tears as he rasped, "Yes, a part of my heart will always be yours…Emmalynn Amell."

Smiling through her tears, Emmalynn took off her necklace and placed it into his hand, then curled his fingers around it. Turning around, she walked into the encampment. She looked over her shoulder briefly to smile at him before she disappeared among the tents.

Surana opened his hand, knowing he held her chantry amulet. _I have never seen her without this. M… I will always treasure our friendship._ Placing the amulet around his neck, he turned back to the Warden encampment ready to open this next chapter of his life, with a heavier heart, but determined to succeed.

**~oOOo~**

_**8 Drakonis** _

_Back at the Circle, and I feel like we went through the void to get here._

_Two days after saying goodbye to Rana, I saw what felt like the end of the world._

_Loghain retreated, some are saying he wanted Calian to die. But that wasn't it. I was there. If he hadn't retreated, all of the armies would have been slaughtered. There were at least three darkspawn for every soldier. The field was carpeted with them when the beacon as lit._

_The King refused to have me near the front line with him. He said he wanted me to stay back and shield the others. He said it would be selfish of him to waste my magic on him when his men would be in need. I asked about shielding him during the skirmishes and the like. He told me that Tyern Loghain wanted to keep him safe, and was 'spitting mad' when the King told him I would not be shielding him, but instead focusing on the army._

_I_ _saw the Ogre lift the King, and I tried to get to him, but I felt the moment he died, the life squeezed out of him by that monster._

_There was nothing more I could do. I had to get out of there and find the healing tent where Wynne and the others were stationed, hopefully out of the way the darkspawn._

_It turned out that several darkspawn had found the healers, but the mages and templars put up a tough fight and killed them. But not without casualties. I was able to save the Jainen Knight Corporal, and one of their healers, but I was too late to save Alondra, who Wynne said went down early the fight, as well as Torrin. Ser Allyn had been injured and while Wynne had healed the injury, he had been infected with the Blight sickness which was rapidly spreading through the older templar's system. Wynne said there was nothing more to be done, but I tried anyway._

_I have studied how poisons work and how they affect the body. One thing I learned how to do while working with Hope the soldiers, was to counteract some kinds of poisons by changing one of its alchemical properties._

_The Blight is a kind of poison, so I tried to counteract a portion of it. The best I could do is slow its effects just enough for him to no longer be highly contagious, and to make it back to the Circle. He would still die, but not in that cursed place!_

_We made it to Kinloch and in the quiet of Ser Allyn's own room, he dictated a letter to his son and said goodbye to his fellow templars, to Wynne, and to Sweeny._

_Everyone left until it was only me and Greagoir. Then he said goodbye to Greagoir and to me. He told me I was like a daughter to him. I kissed his forehead. "You will soon be at the Maker's side, hale and whole."_

_I gave him a potion to put him into a deep sleep so he couldn't feel the dagger the Greagoir used to stab him through the heart. I couldn't keep the tears from my eyes and was surprised to feel Greagoir put an arm around me._

" _You did the best anyone could do in that situation, Emmalynn. He was able to say goodbye to all of us and to his son, and he was able to die on his own terms, not in that nightmare at Ostagar. None of that would have been possible without you."_

_I said, "It isn't me. It's Hope."_

" _Hope would not be able to help if you weren't worthy."_

_I think that might have been the nicest thing he has ever said to me._

_We sent Ser Allyn to the Maker and his pyre was on a side balcony on the templar level._

_I spend every day with my new mentee, Meg, and every afternoon in the chapel praying and mourning for the fellow mages and the templars lost at Ostagar, as well as the loss of our King, the Grey Wardens, and my dearest Rana._

_I know that Blights are pure evil and horrible things will happen before it ends, but I also know that the light will vanquish the dark, and I will do all that I can to bring hope to those around me and help overcome despair._


	8. It's always about you, Isolde.

**Chapter 8 = = It is always about you, Isolde = = Guardian – Drakonis 9:30**

_Bann Teagan Guerrin,_ _Rainesfere  
_ _5 Guardian, 9:30 Dragon_

_Dear Teagan,_

_I received the enclosed Call to Arms that explains the dire situation we are facing in Ferelden, and as you read it you no doubt noticed that Redcliffe and Rainesfere have not been included in the Call._

_I believe the reason for Redcliffe's exclusion is that Arl Eamon somehow managed to enrage their Majesties to the point that they don't want your brother anywhere near them, and yes that extends to Eamon being at Ostagar. Neither Loghain nor I know exactly what Eamon did to earn their ire, only that he has._

Your Bannorn is allied with Redcliffe which is why Rainesfere has been excluded as well, but please believe me when I say that their Majesties hold you and Rainesfere in very high regard!

_It is your brother that is the problem, not you._

_I pray to the Maker that we can, as Cailan hopes, end this Blight before it destroys all we hold dear._

_Maker be with you and with Alistair._

_Bryce Cousland, Teyrn,_ _Highever_

"I think we need to go to Redcliffe. I would not put it past Eamon show up at Ostagar, believing that once there, Cailan will not send them away."

Alistair handed the parchments back to his father, then sighed and leaned back in the chair. "That was my thinking as well. Are we initiating the Rainesfere emergency plan?"

Teagan nodded. "Whatever the issues Eamon has with the Crown, we are facing a Blight and Rainesfere must be on the alert. I will call a meeting of the heads of households to explain what is happening, and why."

"I'll inspect our Bannorn's emergency grain, food, and water stores and authorize work with Quarter Master Kirby to procure anything the stores are lacking."

"Excellent, thank you, Son. I will send out the call for the meeting and explain the situation to Captain Reese – why the soldiers are staying here and not going to Ostagar. I want to make sure they don't feel slighted in any way and that they know the Crown and I have complete confidence in them. I will have Reese work with both blacksmiths, Earl and Kess, and with Kirby to ready the men to guard Rainesfere. Before the meeting I want us to ride out and visit the McYuens, the Pichlers, the Maiers, and the Hagers on the outskirts of Rainesfere; without the density of people, I worry about their being easier targets for darkspawn."

Alistair nodded smiling to himself. _This is why my father is such a beloved Bann, he honestly cares about his people._ "Should we send Arl Eamon a message that we are coming to Redcliffe?"

"Yes, but not as to why. I will also speak with Horse Master Liam, as I want Crystal Grace and Otto barded when we go. Are you alright? You looked a bit far away."

"I was just thinking about what makes you such a beloved leader…you care about the people and you _show_ them you care. Teyrn Bryce is like that, too. In addition to being my father, you are also my role model."

Teagan smiled, looked completely speechless. He pulled Alistair into a hug. "I love you, son."

"I love you to, Da."

**~oOOo~**

"It has been well over a month since the letter from Bryce and I have yet to hear back from Eamon."

"Do you think the he already left?"

"No. Our scouts have seen no one coming from the area. Now that Rainesfere is fully supplied and emergency plans are in place, we should leave for Redcliffe."

"I have a bad feeling about this, Da."

"So do I, Son. So do I."

**~oOOo~**

Alistair and Teagan arrived to find a castle in chaos. A tear-blinded Isolde fell into Teagan's arms telling him that someone had poisoned Eamon and that the Arl was unconscious. Teagan awkwardly held his sister-in-law and looked at Alistair.

Alistair nodded and went to find his cousin. _Isolde is beyond distraught, which means that Connor has been left to himself during his father's illness_.

Alistair found Connor in the family room talking to a mage. When Connor saw his cousin, he ran to him and started to cry. Alistair knelt so he wasn't towering over him as he held him.

The mage nervously addressed Alistair. "My name is Jowan, My Lord. Connor hasn't been allowed to see his father, and his mother doesn't leave the Arl's side."

_Effectively leaving Connor alone. It is always all about your needs, isn't it, Isolde!_ "Thank you for telling me, Jowan."

_Clearly, there is more going on_ _but it seems that Jowan understands how Isolde has effectively abandoned her son._ "Connor, let's stop in the larder on the way and nick some sweets to take with us."

Once they were outside they went to the docks. It was a place where Alistair and Connor typically spent time went whenever Alistair visited.

Stretching his legs, he watched Connor look out over the lake. _I'll wait and hopefully, he'll open up._

"Alistair, I've…I've been having weird dreams."

_That's a bit unexpected._ "Weird in what way?"

"There's a lady in them…She says she can help Father."

_This cannot be good._ "Does she say how?" 

"No."

"Why hasn't she helped?"

"She said she could only do it if I let her free."

_I've enjoyed studying about mages and templars, but I never thought I would actually have to put that knowledge to any use…The woman sounds like a demon, and for her to appear to_ _Connor, that would mean he is a mage. Is Jowan here to tutor Connor?_ "Free her from where?"

"I don't know. She only says that she's being held captive but won't tell me where."

_How do I explain the 'Lady' to Connor?_ "Connor, do you trust me?"

Connor nodded. "Yes! You always help me and you never treat me like I'm just a child."

"I know you want to help your father; I want to help him, too, but the lady in your dream isn't telling you the truth."

"She's _lying_? Why?"

"If she was really being held captive, she couldn't have appeared in your dream unless she used magic."

Connor was clearly thinking about what Alistair said. He whispered, "What if the person dreaming is a mage?"

"If the dreamer is a mage, it would just make it easier for the other mage to find them. But it wouldn't change anything; she would still be lying because mages who make those kinds of offers are demons in disguise."

Connor eyes widened. "She's a _demon_? But she looks so kind, and pretty…aren't demons supposed to be ugly?"

"Yes, that why they use disguises. Connor, is Jowan teaching you about magic?"

"You won't tell anyone?"

"I won't tell."

"Mother wants Jowan to teach me how to hide my magic. She doesn't want _anyone_ to know so I won't be taken to the Circle."

"Have you told Jowan about your dreams?"

Connor shook his head.

"Would you like me to go with you and we can talk to Jowan together?"

"Would you?"

"Of course."

"Thanks Alistair. I'm glad you're my cousin."

"And I'm glad that you are my cousin, too."

They found Jowan in the library.

"Jowan, Connor and I have something important to tell you; perhaps we should go to Connor's room?"

Jowan made sure that there were no servants nearby. Connor was sitting on the floor in front of the hearth and Alistair sat next to him. "Are you ready Connor?"

Nodding, the boy looked at Jowan. "I've been dreaming about a woman who says that she can help my father if I set her free. Alistair said she is lying to me because she is really a demon."

Looking slightly alarmed, Jowan replied, "Ser Alistair is absolutely right, that woman is a demon. You need to learn how to refuse the demon's help."

"Will you teach me, Jowan?"

"That's…what I'm here for."

Alistair was wary of the mage. _He seems sincere in wanting to help Connor, but Jowan seems a bit lacking in self-confidence. Connor would be safer in the circle._

**~oOOo~**

When Alistair saw Teagan shortly before dinner, Teagan was angry.

"She sent all of the Arling's best knights on a ridiculous quest to find the Ashes of Andraste."

Alistair shook his head. "I wish she would pay more attention to Connor; he needs his mother to comfort him."

"I know. Her maternal instincts have always been...questionable. Let's have dinner in the tavern tonight," Teagan suggested. "I don't think I can stomach Isolde right now."

Teagan did not wear his armor to dinner but Alistair was still armed and armored.

During their dinner at the village tavern, Alistair and Teagan heard screams from the village and ran out to see what was happening.

"Maker's Ass!" Teagan swore. "Undead are pouring into the village and attacking the villagers. It looks like they are coming from the castle!"

Alistair took command. "Father, take any and all who are injured to the Chantry. You are the last line of defense!"

Teagan nodded. _I should have worn my armor!_

Alistair found the Mayor and the Deputy Mayor, both of whom could wield a sword.

"Mayor Murdock, raise the militia and go the bottom of the hill where those creatures are entering the village. Fintan and I will try to rescue any of the villagers left behind and kill the undead already in the village. Then we will join you."

Once the village was secured, Alistair joined the militia and jumped into the fray killing the shambling undead. His fearlessness and skill inspired the other fighters giving them new energy. At the first light of dawn, the remaining undead went back to the castle.

The Militia cheered briefly, but everyone was worried about what would happen the next night.

_The militia did a great job._ "You fought like seasoned soldiers and saved much of the Village! Go, eat and _rest_ , take care of your injuries and weapons, because we have to be ready for them if they return tonight."

Alistair went to the Chantry.

"Thank the Maker you are okay, my son." Teagan hugged Alistair, bloody armor and all. "I'm glad one of us was armed and armored. I feel like an idiot to be caught off-guard."

"Wear it tonight, but you should still defend the Chantry."

"I can't, it's in the castle. Deputy Mayor Fintan told me that castle gates were barred and there were no guards in sight." Teagan sighed, "Given what you told me about Connor, I can only guess that the demon is in control."

"That is what I think as well, Da. If we had fighters to spare I would suggest going in through the Windmill entrance, but we need everyone who can fight to stop these corpses."

After a short rest, Alistair and Teagan began to prepare for another attack. Alistair found barrels of oil at the general store and had the militia take them to the base of the hill.

"Ser Alistair."

"Yes, Mayor?"

"Please, it's Murdock. I've known you since you wore short pants and had hay in your hair."

Alistair chuckled. "Then just call me Alistair. What do you need?"

"It's Owen, the blacksmith. He refuses to fix the militia's armor but won't say why, won't say anything. He has locked the door and won't answer."

"On it."

Alistair knocked on the door. "Owen! Are you in there?"

"Go away!"

"I'm not going away. I want to help."

"Who are you?"

"Alistair."

"Ser Alistair?"

"Yes."

He heard the door unlock. He went inside. _Someone's been drinking. It smells like a distillery exploded in here._

"Owen, what can I do?"

"My daughter Valena, she is one of the Arlessa's maids. Please, you have to rescue her."

"On my word as a Knight, once I can get into the castle I will rescue Valena, if she lives. But I cannot get into the castle unless we can kill these undead, and we can't do _that_ unless you repair the militia's armor."

Owen nodded. "Your word, your word as a Knight?"

"Yes. On my word as a Knight."

"Okay, I'll stoke the forge."

Alistair left and found the mayor speaking with his father. "Murdock, Owen will start working on the armor. Father, when we get into the castle we have to find Owen's daughter, and Maker I hope she still lives."

"Of course." Teagan was looking over Alistair's shoulder when he suddenly said, "Thank the Maker."

Alistair turned and saw Ser Perth marching into the village with several of Redcliffe's knights. However, the news Perth brought was grave.

"The battle for Ostagar was a disaster. The King and all the Grey Wardens were overrun, and Loghain's retreat is being seen as suspicious.

Teagan held up his hand. "Wait, overrun? Cailan is _dead_?"

Perth slowly nodded. "The King, and all but two of the Grey Wardens. The only good news was that Aedan Cousland has survived Howe's treachery and he is also one of the two Wardens to escape Ostagar."

Alistair frowned. "What treachery, Perth?"

"Oh Maker, I thought you'd heard. Rendon Howe slaughtered the Couslands. He claimed that the Teyrn was secretly working for Orlais."

Alistair paled as did Teagan, who looked to Perth. "Slaughtered? All of them?"

"Let me start from the beginning. According to Warden Aedan, Arl Howe and his army were coming to Highever, and he and Teyrn Cousland were to lead both armies to Ostagar. However, on the day they were supposed to leave Highever, only part of Arl Howe's troops had arrived and the rest were, according to Howe, running behind schedule. Teyrn Cousland asked Lord Fergus to leave that day with the Highever Army and head to Ostagar. That night, the remainder of Howe's army showed up, took the Castle, and killed both Teyrn and Teyrna Cousland, and Lord Fergus' wife and son."

"Oriana _and_ Oren? Howe put a mother and child to death?"

"His soldiers killed everyone in the castle, down to the last servant."

Anger colored Teagan's tone. "What evil crawled into Howe's soul? Bryce was no more an agent of Orlais than I am a Tevinter magister."

Alistair was staggered by the news but was still a bit puzzled. "You said Aedan is a Grey Warden? How did he escape Highever?"

"The Warden Commander was staying in Castle Cousland looking to recruit Ser Gilmore, but when Howe attacked, the Warden Commander took to Aedan to safety and made him a Grey Warden."

"And Aedan is alright?"

"Yes, Ser Alistair, he is. I saw him and his fellow warden, Surana, who is an elven mage. They had just arrived in Lothering, as had we. I told them about the Arl's illness. Warden Aedan explained that they were headed to the Circle Tower, and then they would come to Redcliffe."


	9. Then Uldred Staged His Coup

**Chapter 9 = = Then Uldred Staged His Coup = =Drakonis 9:30**

Talking with Wynne, Emmalynn sat on her bed, dumbfounded. " _Loghain_ offered more freedoms from the Chantry if our Circle allied with him?"

"That's what Uldred said."

"Allied with him to do what? He is the Queen's Regent."

"Clearly, he means to take the throne."

"Even if that were true, which I am not at all sure it is, no king would be able to get freedoms for mages unless they could convince the Grand Cleric to allow it. You and I both know Grand Cleric Elemena would never allow it. What is Uldred playing at?"

"I think the better question is what is Loghain playing at? His treachery at Ostagar was beyond the pale!"

_There is no reasoning with Wynne when she has a full head of steam. Loghain had no choice but to sound the retreat. I know – I was on the field._

Suddenly there was a loud roaring noise like a gale force wind was blowing within the tower.

"Wynne! The veil…it feels…"

"Thin."

Suddenly horrific screams seemed to sound from the very stones in the walls.

"Wynne, something's gone horribly wrong. We need to see if we can help!"

In the hallway outside of their quarters, they saw Niall about five feet away, killing a rage demon. He turned. "Emmalynn! Wynne! Thank the Maker you're here. Find all of the mages you can and get them to safety."

"What happened Niall? Emmalynn and I felt the veil."

"Uldred was a blood mage and now he's possessed."

Wynne was shocked and horrified. "What? How?"

"When we decided not to accept Loghain's offer, he and his followers rebelled. When Uldred tried to summon a Pride Demon, he was overwhelmed by it. That is what you felt: it weakened the veil. Now demons are appearing everywhere."

Emmalynn was already running to the stairs that led down to the apprentice level. She waited for Wynne to catch up, then opened the door.

As she did, she staggered back, almost bumping into the older mage. _The smell of death and demonic residue is already saturating the air!_ "Wynne! The demons are already down here. We have to find the apprentices right now." _Please, let us get to the children before the demons!_

After running into the apprentice dormitory, Emmalynn put up a repulsion glyph in the doorway. _That should buy us some time._ She closed her eyes, calming herself. _There are only 10 apprentices in here._ She opened her eyes. "Children, please come out of your hiding places. Wynne and I will get you out of here, but you have to come with us now."

At the sound of their teacher's voice, the apprentices scrambled from various parts of the dorm and ran to Emmalynn. Ten terrified faces looked up to her. Keeping her voice calm, she reassured the children, "We will keep you safe, but stay close to me, okay?"

The children all nodded.

Wynne looked at Emmalynn in surprise. "How did you know anyone was here? I didn't see them."

"Does it matter right now?"

"No, I suppose not. I'll take the lead so the children can stay close to you"

They found Petra and Cera, along with three of the older apprentices Eadric, Keili, and the eldest, Kinnon.

"Thank the Maker you're here!" Petra exclaimed. "Cera and I will scout ahead a bit."

Wynne admonished, "Please stay close enough so we can see you."

Turning the corner onto the main corridor, Petra and Cera went to the front doors at the other end.

Emmalynn and Wynne watched as Petra tried to open them but the doors were locked. The only way out of the tower was now barred to them.

_No!_ Emmalynn sent a questioning look at Wynne. _Are they sending for the Rite_?

Wynne nodded. Emmalynn took Wynne's hand and squeezed it. No words had been spoken but both women gained strength from the other. Strength to hold on and to do what was necessary to protect the innocent children from senseless slaughter.

Cera motioned to a nearby room. "There is another room in here off to the side that only has one entrance. Let's gather there."

Once everyone was in the room, Cera and Wynne went out to clear the immediate area of demons. Emmalynn checked out the children, healing the various cuts and abrasions. "Have any of you seen Nora, Liam, or Lena?"

Ellis answered, "Nora went to the library, but she never came back. Liam and Lena were in the kitchens; I don't know if they're still there."

"Emmalynn?" Petra interrupted. "Kinnon and I are going to drag in some of the furniture and as soon as Wynne and Cera return we'll create a barricade."

"Good plan."

After Petra and Kinnon had dragged in the last bit of furniture, they heard Cera shout, "Emmalynn, I need you!"

Emmalynn ran into the larger room where she saw Cera practically dragging a very injured Wynne.

"Lay her down here. What happened?"

"A blood mage used crushing prison…he managed to get the spell off just as I turned him into a block of ice. We were able to get rid of the demons nearby, so we should be safe…for a while." Cera looked over her shoulder seeing the locked main doors, then back at Emmalynn. Keeping her voice down, she muttered, "They'll be sending for the Rite."

Emmalynn could only nod. "I have to heal Wynne from in here. Cera, I need either you or Petra to stand guard here, and the other to stay with the apprentices."

Cera nodded and left, just as Emmalynn's aura flared and she focused on her patient.

_Her chest cavity has been compromised and she's lost a large amount of blood. Her heart is still beating but it's stressed. A broken rib punctured her left lung. The lungs first – move the bones up and out of the way a bit, so I can fix the lung._

A wisp coming from Emmalynn's aura surrounded Wynne's broken ribs and sternum, lifting them up gently. It created just enough room for another wisp to patch over the punctured lung, healing it and allowing it to inflate.

_Damn! Wynne's heartbeat is weakening from blood loss! I'm losing her…come on, Wynne, hold on…_ a wisp wrapped itself around her heart to assist it. _I need to mend the ribs or they'll cause further injury._

As she continued work on Wynne, time passed without notice.

_Healing the bones while helping Wynne's heart is exhausting me_. She began to pray.

_Blessed are the righteous, the lights in the shadow.  
_ _In their blood the Maker's will is written_

_I am not alone. Even_  
_As I stumble on the path_  
_With my eyes closed, yet I see  
_ _The Light is here._

_Please, Wynne is one of those lights, her wisdom and experience cannot be replaced. She has so much yet to teach and to do. When my mana runs out, I can use my essence to help her until some of the blood loss can be reversed…I would give my life for hers...Hope of Andraste, please guide me._

It was then that Emmalynn felt a spirit of Faith flow from her hands _into_ Wynne. When Wynne woke up, Emmalynn worried when she saw the spirit behind the elderly mage's eyes, but Hope filled her heart, set her at ease, and spoke softly to her soul, " _ **You did well, child."**_

Wynne looked at Emmalynn, "I thought I was dead."

"Close, but no. You did not die."

Wynne cocked her head to the side and looked as if she were listening to something. "A spirit of Faith resides in me?"

"Yes. I swear I didn't summon it…I prayed for help…"

"I'm not concerned about that. I owe you my life."

"No, you don't. It was Hope."

Wynne shook her head. "You are too modest. Let me put up a barrier." Her mentor, with more strength then she should have had, was able to put up a magical barrier covering the entrance to the smaller room.

Things were quiet for a while, but suddenly a rage demon sprouted up from the ground grabbing Wynne's attention away from the barrier, which then fell.

Petra, Wynne, and Cera fought the demon, while Emmalynn shielded the children and older apprentices.

Just after the demon was destroyed, a man entered the room and called over his shoulder, "They're in here, Aedan!"

_I know that voice!_ "Rana! You're alive!" She turned as tears streamed down her face.

"M! I knew I'd find you!"

Moved to tears himself, the two friends hugged and held on tight. "Rana, what are you all doing here?"

Surana let go and addressed the other mages as well. "We came here to call on the Circle to uphold their part of a treaty between the chantry and the Grey Wardens, and give us mages and templars to help end the Blight."

"Greagoir sent for the Rite, didn't he?" Wynne inquired softly.

Surana nodded. "He told us that the tower was lost. I argued that there may be mages that are still alive and to let us come in and find them. Greagoir was reluctant, so I said to him. 'Do you think either Wynne or M would fall to demons?'"

The man Rana called Aedan was now standing next to him looking angry. "He let us in alright, but that damned Knight-Commander will not open the doors unless we bring the First Enchanter back to tell Greagoir _personally_ that the circle can be spared."

"I will go with you to find Irving," Wynne said.

Emmalynn placed a hand gently on Wynne's shoulder. "Wynne, _you_ have to maintain that barrier. You are the only one who can. Petra and Cera will watch over the apprentices.

It was clear from Wynne's expression that she wanted to disagree, but thought about it…and reluctantly nodded. Then she hugged her former student. "Be safe, Emmalynn."

Emmalynn nodded. She grabbed her staff knelt down in front of her students. "You all have been very brave; help has arrived, just keep being the brave. Listen to Petra, Cera, and Wynne. They will keep you safe."

"Will…we see you again?" Viola whispered.

Emmalynn let Hope guide her response. "We have help we didn't think would arrive. Yes, I will see you on the other side of that door." Smiling, she let Hope fill the room and calm racing hearts.

Turning, she followed Aedan and Surana. In the foyer, they were joined by a hornless Qunari that Surana introduced as Sten. _He seems ill-at-ease. Not surprising given how the Qunari treat mages…sigh, I read too much!_

The plan was to go through the tower from the first floor up and clean out every demon between them and the Harrowing chamber. They started with the Library, but seconds after they walked in, Emmalynn fell to her knees next to what looked like a pile of cloth. Putting her head in her hands, she sobbed.

Surana gasped and knelt next to Emmalynn. "M?"

Tears streamed down her face "Rana, it's Nora! We…we couldn't find her. Ellis said that Nora had gone to the library. Look what they did to her! She was only seven. She must have been terrified!" She gasped, trying to stem her tears.

Surana bit back the tears. "Come on M, we need to go; we have to save Irving."

At first, Aedan was skeptical of taking the younger of the two healers. but after their first few encounters he whispered to Surana, "Emmalynn, has some impressive shields, and the glyph that neutralizes magic is amazing."

"You think that's good, you should see her heal. Hmm, well maybe we don't want to have to heal anyone, but if you do…she is amazing."

As they progressed through the tower, Emmalynn and Surana tried not to look at those who had fallen and focused all their energy getting through the tower. They had almost reached their goal.

Then they were drawn into the fade by the sloth demon….

**~oOOo~**

"Mommy, wake up! Daddy and I made you breakfast in bed!"

Emmalynn opened her eyes and saw a girl of about five summers with her own-blue green eyes and Chestnut colored hair. _She's so adorable._ As she became more aware of her surroundings, she looked at the small child then smirked and shook her head. "Your disguise doesn't work, Demon. Pathetic really that you didn't realize I could see through your nonsense."

Standing, she called out. "I am not drawn into your false reality, demon." The man disappeared but the child transformed into a demon of despair.

Quietly, Emmalynn created a neutralize magic glyph behind the demon and a repulsion glyph in front of it. _Invisible to all eyes save mine…that bit was hard to learn._ "If you want me, then come and get me."

The demon floated forward and was thrown back into the neutralize magic glyph. While it didn't kill the demon, the area around her dissolved into the raw Fade.

That was when Surana arrived and killed the demon.

**~oOOo~**

After they freed Irving and the other enchanters, Emmalynn caught the Knight Commander's attention and she motioned him aside. "I am really worried about Ser Cullen. He is a kind-hearted man, and one of great faith. But after the horrible things he'd said before we entered the harrowing chamber, I'm really concerned about his mental wellbeing."

"I will look out for him, Senior Enchanter Emmalynn."

She turned and caught Cullen's gaze; the anger and fear she saw in his expression spoke volumes. _I must go to him…I have to try._ Standing before him she could feel the anger and hatred roll off of him like a wave.

"What poison do you plan to spew, mage?"

Emmalynn took a calming breath and began,

" _The Lady knelt at his side, saying:  
_ _A_ _ri_ _se, Aegis of the Faith. You are not forgotten.  
_ _Neither man nor Maker shall forget your bravery  
_ _So long as I remember."_

"You are an Aegis of the Faith; don't lose sight of that Cullen, please!" She turned and quickly caught up with Surana and his group.

Aedan addressed Irving and Greagoir formally, "First Enchanter, Knight-Commander, we are gathering an army to fight and end this Blight. I ask you to fulfill your obligations per the treaty to provide mages and templars when the go into battle." Aedan handed the Treaty to Irving so the two men could read it.

"Just so you know, in addition to the Circle, I have treaties with the Dalish and with Orzammar. As Warden Surana and I are the only two wardens left in Ferelden, I am in need of a healer, and Emmalynn seemed _quite_ capable."

Greagoir was clearly irritated. "Why ask? Why not just use the Right of Conscription, like your previous Warden-Commander?"

"Knight-Commander" Emmalynn began, " _Please,_ let me help them. _Magic exists to serve man._ Surly being a healer for those who are sworn to end the Blight is a worthy act of service?"

Greagoir sighed, rubbing his forehead, looking exhausted. "Very well. Emma…Senior Enchanter Amell…you may accompany the Warden Commander. Go gather whatever you need."

"Thank you, Knight Commander. Warden Commander, I will return momentarily."

Wynne said, "I'll go with you."

When they arrived at the Senior Mages quarters, Emmalynn paled and had to sit down. "Wynne, there is blood _everywhere_ , but no bodies. Where are they?"

"Do you really need an answer for that? Emmalynn, are you sure you want to do this? I could go in your place."

"You think I should stay behind?"

"I am just thinking about what happened when we arrived in Ostagar, there are cities in Ferelden that are as crowded as Ostagar, such as Denerim."

"I appreciate the concern. Truly, Wynne, I do. While what happened at Ostagar could happen again, I am not going to let that get in the way of my duty, just as I didn't let it get in the way of my duty at Ostagar. I feel a call, a duty, to help the Wardens."

"Alright. If it becomes too much, comeback knowing that I can go in your place."

"Thank you, Wynne." _I don't remember Wynne ever sounding that patronizing. I wonder if she is jealous of my leaving? She always said she loved adventures._

Emmalynn found her journal and an extra robe. "I guess this is all I have now."

"The Wardens can probably supply you with more."

Returning to the foyer, Emmalynn hugged Wynne, Irving, and even the Knight-Commander before leaving.

Surana grinned, seeing Greagoir's ears turn red. _He's never known how to cope with M._

After leaving Kinloch, they stopped at the Spoiled Princess to rest for the night. The plan was to set out for Redcliffe in the morning. After dinner, Aedan explained what had been happening in the tower and introduced Emmalynn to the companions who were waiting at the inn.

"This is Sister Leliana."

"Lay sister actually; a pleasure to meet you."

"And this is Morrigan."

Emmalynn smiled shyly. "P...pleased to meet you, both."

Morrigan sniffed, "Hmph…I do not see a templar…does that mean you are not part of the Circle?"

"I am part of the Circle, but I am currently...on loan."

"Then they have merely lengthened your leash and not removed it."

"That is one way to put it. Tell me, do you enjoy healing?"

"No!"

Emmalynn smiled. "Well, then I'm very glad my leash is long enough to release you from that burden." She then turned towards Aedan. "Um...have I been assigned a room?"

"Ah…yes, you are sharing a room with Leliana. Leliana, do you want to show her to the room?"

"Of course!"

As they walked upstairs, Leliana whispered, "I didn't think Morrigan could be rendered speechless."

"Well, uh...she isn't wrong. I _am_ tethered to the Circle. But, I _am_ a healer... and a good one." _I'm grateful that Rana told me on the way back from the tower about how much Morrigan hates healing."_

* * *

_AN: Bioware owns all, I just play in their pool! Next chapter Alistair and Emmalynn meet..._


	10. Kismet

**Chapter 10 = = Kismet = Drakonis to Cloudreach**

The first person that Aedan and the group encountered upon entering Redcliffe was Ser Perth.

"Wardens, I'm glad you and your companions have arrived! Things are far worse than when I saw you in Lothering."

Aedan looked surprised. "Aside from the Arl being ill, what else has happened?"

"The Arl isn't just ill, he's been poisoned by a blood mage! And then, two nights ago, walking corpses started pouring from the castle. They attack at night and stop at sunrise. I fear many more would have died during that first attack were it not for the quick thinking of Bann Teagan and his son, Ser Alistair."

"Teagan and Alistair are here?"

Perth nodded at Aedan. "Ser Alistair mobilized and deployed the militia, while Bann Teagan protected those who fled to the chantry for refuge. There is more, but I think it might be best if the Bann himself explains it to you. I will take you to him. He is in the chantry."

On the way, Aedan asked Perth, "Has anyone been able to get into the castle?"

"No. The gates are all locked and there are no guardsmen anywhere to be seen. The only thing that comes out of the castle are the walking corpses."

Upon entering the Chantry, Ser Perth bade the group to wait near the door. "I'll find the Bann."

A few minutes later, Teagan and Alistair appeared from the back of the chapel. Bann Teagan looked relieved. "Thank the Maker for your arrival! Aedan, I heard about what happened at Highever, and that you were conscripted into the wardens. I'm so sorry for your loss –we will find some way to bring that snake, Howe, to justice."

Aedan quickly nodded. "Thank you, my lord."

"Please, I've known you far too long for such formalities. Call me Teagan."

Alistair briefly embraced Aedan, then stepped away so he could meet his friend's companions.

Aedan gestured to his group, "Everyone, this is Bann Teagan of Rainesfere and his son Ser Alistair. My lords, please meet Warden Surana, formerly from the Kinloch Circle, Sister Leliana, Morrigan, Sten from Par Vollen, and Emmalynn who is on loan to us from the Kinloch Circle."

Surana nodded. "Well met."

"I am only a lay sister. It is a pleasure to meet you both, although the circumstances could be better, yes?"

Morrigan rolled her eyes at Leliana. "The circumstances would be better if we had not met at all."

Sten merely nodded his head.

"My Lords." Emmalynn curtsied. _Why is Leliana giggling?_

Alistair was captivated by Emmalynn. _She's almost as tall as me! The color of her eyes reminds me of the blue grass of Starkhaven. Just looking at her, I can see her hope and compassion._

Thoughts about Leliana's giggles fled when she looked at Alistair. _Maker, he is a handsome man. The color of his eyes are like a forest – deep brown with shades of green, and they shine with honor and heart._

Aedan cleared his throat, causing Emmalynn to startle and she and Alistair looked away from one another. Blushing, she averted her eyes and looked down at her shoes. _And Leliana is giggling again!_

Alistair ran his hand through his hair, focusing on Aedan. "I know you are on a mission to end the Blight, and the undead are certainly not darkspawn. However, we desperately need help shoring up Redcliffe's defenses. We expect another wave of these walking corpses tonight. Will you help?"

"Actually, we need to speak with the Arl as his army is one of the few that wasn't at Ostagar. We also need his advice on the issues of Loghain's regency. Helping Redcliffe is relevant to our mission. But even were that not the case, I never abandon you; I offer our aid because it's the right thing to do. So, what do you have in mind?"

"Let's go to the tavern and go over what needs to be done."

"Surana, Leli, and Sten, could you join us?"

Emmalynn and Morrigan watched them walk to the tavern.

"Well, 'twould appear that our opinion is not wanted."

"Not wanted, but I think needed. How else will they know how to use what we can do?"

"'Tis irrelevant now. Once Aedan makes up his mind it seems only a sharp blow to the head would change it."

"I take it he can be stubborn?"

"Beyond stubborn, the warden can be inflexible. Well, if our leader _asks_ , tell him I shall return _before_ the undead besiege the village." Morrigan left the chantry and Emmalynn figured that the raven-haired witch had just turned into a raven and flew away.

Shrugging and sighing, Emmalynn remained in the chantry and went to see how she could help.

Alistair found her there about half a candle later. She was sitting on the floor within a circle of children telling them a story:

"And all the remaining gods named the _ptarmigan_ honored above even the loftiest eagles. So you see, courage is not a matter of size, as the ptarmigan is the smallest of birds.* Courage is not the absence of fear, for the ptarmigan was afraid. Courage is going on despite your fear."

She looked up and smiled. "Isn't that right Ser Alistair?"

Alistair sat on a bench across from Emmalynn. "Yes, you are absolutely correct." He looked at the children. "I have urgent business with your lady storyteller, if I may?"

One of the boys, perhaps five summers old, asked, " _Em-lynn_ , promise you'll come back after the monsters are all gone?"

"I promise. Remember, listen to the Sisters, they will keep you safe." _During these dark times, how many more children will need to be kept safe?_

Alistair held out his hand to help Emmalynn stand, then offered his arm as they walked out of the Chantry. "You seemed to have won over the children quickly."

"I'm a good storyteller." Emmalynn blushed. "So, what is it you need Ser Alistair?"

"Please, it's just Alistair. I'm taking you back to the Tavern. I suggested to Aedan that it would be important to know how best to use yours and Morrigan's skills. Although, I didn't see her on my way here."

"Before she turned into a raven and flew away she told me," Emmalynn aped Morrigan's voice, "' _If_ our leader asks, tell him I shall return _before_ the undead besiege the village.'"

Alistair laughed. "Good impression!"

Emmalynn grinned. "Thank you. And thank you for your suggestion to Aedan."

**~oOOo~**

"It will be hard to split our forces between the dock and the main road from the castle," Teagan explained.

"Do many of these creatures come from the docks?" Emmalynn asked, tapping her finger against her chin.

"No; it's enough, however, that we cannot leave it unguarded." Teagan responded. "Do you have an idea?"

"Well, if we combine my repulsion glyphs with Rana's immolation glyphs, we can buy _some_ time. My repulsion glyphs cover an area about half as wide as the small courtyard in front of the chantry, which is as wide as the dock entrance."

Pointing to the map she explained, "If I put the glyphs along this angle and they are paired with Rana's immolation glyphs, then corpses will be tossed from my glyphs into Rana's. I will know when my glyphs have been tripped. If we have Rana and Ser Stephan stationed near those glyphs, they can handle any corpses who survive long enough for a group from the main area to arrive at the dock entrance. Rana, what do you think?"

"Unconventional, but it should work."

"Excellent! Then we will use the grease and fire spells as we did with the oil barrels." Alistair pointed to the location to place the grease and fire spells. "Aedan?"

"I think we have a plan. Alistair, when we know the glyphs have been tripped, please lead a group to the docks. Emmalynn, thank you for the suggestion, and again, I apologize for excluding you."

"It's alright. I know that my magic abilities are different from Rana's and Morrigan's and it is reasonable to think that healers just heal."

"That said, I suggest we eat something and rest a bit before we set up glyphs and the like." He looked around the small tavern. "Now, where is Bella?"

Alistair looked round as well, then he mumbled, "Hmm, I don't see Lloyd either." Clearly hearing something, he stood up. "Excuse me for a moment." He walked purposefully into the storeroom.

After Alistair entered the storeroom, everyone heard muffled angry voices, one of which was clearly Bella's. Suddenly, there was a sound of a crate breaking followed by a groan. Shortly after, Bella came out of the storeroom looking relieved, smoothing her apron. Alistair came out a moment later and Bella briefly hugged him.

He returned and sat down, his tone was matter-of-fact. "Our militia will have one more fighter tonight."

"Bella?" Aedan questioned.

"No. Lloyd."

**~oOOo~**

As with the previous nights, the corpses attacked. It was well into the battle when the first glyph tripped. Emmalynn yelled, "Alistair! Docks. Now!"

Alistair call out, "Perth, Donnelly, with me!"

When they arrived at the docks, many corpses had been incinerated by the glyphs; the rest were quickly dispatched by Rana's magic and the swords of the four knights.

Morrigan appeared at the docks, having flown in raven form. "We could use one or two of you back at the main area."

Surana looked at Alistair. "I think Ser Stephan and I can handle things from here."

Alistair nodded. "Thanks Morrigan. Donnelly, Perth, let's go!"

**~oOOo~**

Unlike previous attacks, it was well before dawn when the corpses stopped coming from the castle. A cheer rang up from the survivors.

Teagan thanked all those who defended Redcliffe. "Your courage has saved many. Tomorrow, I will lead our knights as we work to enter the castle to save the Arl and anyone else who may still be alive. For now, please go to your homes and loved ones, and rest – you've more than earned it."

Once the militia, the Mayor, and the Deputy Mayor left, Teagan looked at Perth. "We will regroup at the Windmill two candles after dawn and make plans to enter the castle."

"We will be there, my Lord." Perth and the rest of the knights bowed and left.

"Wardens, you and your companions really helped turn the tide. Let's go back to the tavern and get some sleep."

Aedan cleared his throat, clearly uncomfortable. "Unfortunately, the tavern only has enough room for four of us."

"Oh! Don't worry, Aedan! I don't need a room. I'm staying at the Chantry."

Aedan looked at Emmalynn. "Why?"

"I promised the children that I would comeback once the monsters were gone. Even if they are already asleep, I gave my word I'd be there."

Aedan nodded. "We'll come to the chantry and pick you up on the way to the windmill."

Stifling a yawn, Emmalynn nodded. "I will see you all then."

Alistair smiled, holding out his arm. "My lady, may I escort you?"

Emmalynn blushed and nodded her head nervously. "Uh…yes...Alistair…Thank you."

On the way back to the tavern Leliana giggled. "Alistair and Emmalynn are _adorable_! She is so cute when she curtsies. I haven't seen anyone curtsy since I was last in Val Royeaux. In Ferelden everyone bows."

"M's originally from a noble family in the Marches; that's where she learned it."

"Is Emmalynn religious?" Leliana asked.

Surana nodded. "M's Andrastian. Knows the Chant backward and forwards."

Morrigan sniffed derisively. "She worships the very religion that vilifies and imprisons her own kind."

Surana glowered at Morrigan. "Consider yourself lucky that M is who she is, otherwise you'd still be serving as our healer."

**~oOOo~**

Later that same morning, they all met at the windmill.

Teagan held up his hand on which he wore signet ring and explained, "My ring opens a secret trapdoor hidden in the windmill. This is the entrance to a secret passageway into and out of the castle grounds."

Surana and Emmalynn looked puzzled, so Aedan explained, flatly, "Passageways like this provide a way for the family to escape." _Unless your family have been massacred in their sleep._

Teagan nodded. "Indeed. We can use it to try and gain entrance into the castle. Ser Perth, you and the rest of the knights go to the main portcullis. We will go through the passage and open the gate for you, then as a group, we will enter the castle."

No sooner had the knights left, when the air was split by the sound of a shrill voice. "TEAGAN! _Teeaagaaan!_ "

Both Alistair and Teagan stiffened and turned toward the source of the familiar screech.

Emmalynn saw a well-dressed, well-coiffed woman of middle years, running in their direction. _Is she the Arlessa? I thought the Arl was a man of more mature years._

The screaming woman threw herself into Teagan's arms, sobbing. "I was allowed to come out here and bring you back with me – only you, though. Please Teagan, please. You need to come with me right now," Isolde begged.

Despite Alistair's objections to his father going alone into what he and Alistair were sure was a trap, Teagan reluctantly agreed to go with his sister-in-law. He gave Alistair his signet ring. "Perhaps I can provide a distraction; Alistair and Aedan, get Eamon out of there. The priority is the Arl."

"No father, we will rescue _all_ of you."

Teagan squeezed his son's shoulder and then turned to follow Isolde.

Alistair took Aedan aside. "I know this passage like the back of my hand. I cannot count how many times I used it to escape Isolde's ire when I was a small boy. Aedan, perhaps I should lead the group until we get into the castle?"

"I think I would be foolish to say no." He returned to everyone. "Alistair knows the path we are taking and will lead us through."

**~oOOo~**

After dispatching several undead corpses, they entered the dungeons. Suddenly they heard, "Hello? Is anyone _there_?"

The voice came from a cell about halfway down the hall. Surana and Emmalynn looked at each other and Surana frowned. "Jowan? It can't be."

Alistair also recognized the distinctive whining voice of the mage. "Yes, it can."

Surana ran towards the cell with Emmalynn running after him.

Facing the black-haired mage, Surana raged, "Jowan! You cowardly traitor!"

Emmalynn placed her had on his arm. "Rana, please."

He shook off Emmalynn's hand, still looking at his former lover. "I loved you, and you betrayed everything we were! You are _nothing_ but a filthy _maleficar_!" Surana began to cast.

Emmalynn put herself directly in front of Jowan's cell door. "Jowan, crouch behind me."

"M, move!"

"No Rana." She kept her voice calm and soft.

" _Emmalynn_ , move!"

She gently pleaded, "No. _Surana_. Stop. _Please_ , stop."

Surana reluctantly tamped down his magic, but Emmalynn stayed in front of Jowan until she was sure her best friend had calmed down.

"This isn't over," he muttered angrily as she led him away from the dungeon.

**~oOOo~**

On the way to the audience chamber. They found one of the Arlessa's maids hiding in a small pantry. Alistair recognized her as Owen's daughter Valena. She sobbed in relief when she saw Alistair, who gave her a comforting hug.

He caught her gaze making sure she was paying close attention. "Valena, do you know the pathway that goes to the exit through the windmill?"

She sniffled and nodded. "Aye...Yes, Ser Alistair."

"Good, the way between here and there has been cleared, go and don't stop until you get to your father's shop."

She quickly nodded. "Thank you, Ser!"

Alistair watched until Valena had made the turn off the central hall to get to the staircase that led up. _Thank the Maker she is still alive._

**~oOOo~**

When they reached the audience chamber the scene was surreal: near the throne stood a dejected-looking Isolde and next to her stood Connor. Though he was only a child, he was laughing maniacally as he made Teagan perform like a court fool.

Alistair sighed. _Well, if there was any doubt left that_ _Connor gave in to the demon…_

Suddenly, the guards and Teagan attacked Aedan and the rest of the group while Connor fled. Alistair was across the room from his father who was attacking Aedan. Aedan tried to stay on the defensive, not wanting to hurt Teagan, in the end he had no choice but to shield bash the Bann.

Teagan collapsed. Emmalynn reached him quickly and began to heal his broken ribs and bruised jaw.

Once the last guard died, so did the demon's control of Teagan. He woke up and the first face he saw was Emmalynn's. "Is it over?"

"Yes, for now, my Lord Bann."

"Please, it's just Teagan."

Alistair saw Emmalynn smile at nod at his father. Then she looked up at Alistair. "He's alright, Ser…uh…Alistair."

"Thank you so much for helping him." He smiled widely at her and offered her his hand.

"Um…I'm a healer, it's what I do." _My face must be as red as beetroots; he is so grateful and appreciative. No one really ever reacts like that to my healing._

Alistair helped Emmalynn to her feet, then he helped Teagan. "Father?"

Teagan smoothed out his doublet. "I'm fine, albeit embarrassed."

"There is no need to be embarrassed, Da. We know it was Connor's doing."

"Thank you for your timely healing, my lady."

"You're welcome. Please, though, My Lord, I...I am a mage and thus not a Lady," she said softly.

Teagan looked at the young woman, his voice kind, and he smiled. "The Chantry may make that foolish distinction. I do not."

"Then...ah please call me Emmalynn."

On Teagan's command, Jowan was brought up from his cell. The mage shuffled in slowly, his expression fearful.

 _Jowan is injured._ Before Emmalynn could investigate it further. Isolde yelled, "Jowan! What have you done to my son?"

He whined, "I told you Lady Isolde, _nothing_. What happened to Connor wasn't my fault!"

Surana was blunt. "Is Connor an abomination?"

Isolde gasped at Surana, "What do you know, mage?"

"Please, Isolde, he is a Warden," Teagan said.

"No! Connor isn't an abomination!" Jowan whined as he explained. "The demon is controlling him from the Fade. If a mage kills the demon in the Fade, Connor will be free."

"How do we get a mage into the Fade?" Aedan asked.

Surana shook his head. "It would take several mages and plenty of lyrium. The Circle is in no shape to assist."

"Is there no other way?"

"I could use…blood magic to send a mage into the Fade, but it would take a lot of blood."

"How much?"

"It would require a full sacrifice."

"I will do it." Isolde stepped towards Jowan.

"Isolde, no!" Teagan gasped. "You know Eamon would never allow this."

"He is my son, and there isn't anything I would not do to save him. I would give my life for his."

Surana was silent and looked to Aedan, who reluctantly nodded.

Having been watching this exchange to get a sense of her new commander, Emmalynn calmly said, "No." Looking at Aedan and Surana as she stood between Jowan and Isolde, she continued, "You saw what happened in the Circle. I will not allow you to perpetra—"

"You'd rather us _murder_ an innocent boy?" Aedan interrupted, growling.

"Of course not. I—"

Aedan snapped, "I _what_?"

She arched an eyebrow. "If you are finished interrupting me?" Her voice was calm and without rancor.

Aedan grunted. "Alright. Speak."

"We don't need much lyrium as I can amplify its effect. The village chantry would likely have more than enough. I only need Rana and Jowan to help. Morrigan, would you be willing to go into the Fade?"

Morrigan nodded.

Aedan looked uncomfortable. "I would rather you send Surana into the Fade."

"Warden, your trust in me is _so_ gratifying." Sarcasm was clear in Morrigan's tone.

Emmalynn sighed. "Aedan, you and Rana are the last of the Ferelden Grey Wardens, and going into the Fade can be risky. Not only that, Morrigan handled the sloth demon without aid. She has the best chance of ending this quickly…Rana?" She looked pleadingly at her friend.

Surana looked at Aedan. "I told you M is a powerful mage…I trust her."

Aedan nodded in resignation. "All right, we'll do it your way Emmalynn. How much lyrium do you need? Will I need help carrying it from the chantry?"

"I need six vials of pure lyrium – the kind they give the templars, not lyrium potions. If you take two people with you, then you only have to carry one vial in each hand." She smirked.

Aedan chuckled. "I deserved that. Alistair, you know the chantry mother; would you come with me to get the lyrium?"

Alistair, who was standing next to Emmalynn, said softly, "Thank you."

When they returned with the lyrium Emmalynn took over. She poured the six vials into a ceramic bowl she'd found in the kitchens. They settled into a semi-circle with the bowl in the middle; Jowan moved slowly, but surprisingly didn't seem frightened. "Rana, take my right hand, Jowan take my left, then each of you place your other hand on the bowl."

"You don't need your hands to cast?" Aedan asked.

She shook her head and began to chant silently. Her cerulean aura appeared; it then proceeded to expand to Jowan, Surana, and then to the bowl. Morrigan placed her hand over the bowl, into the aura, and was quickly sent into the Fade.

Two candle marks later Morrigan woke. "The demon is dead; the boy should be free," she reported as she stood up.

Isolde and Teagan ran to Connor's bedroom. Teagan thanked Morrigan and Emmalynn as he passed by.

Looking at Emmalynn, Morrigan commented, " 'Twas a demon of desire. No small wonder why the boy was drawn to it."

"Thank you for killing it," Emmalynn replied faintly.

" 'Twas not difficult. It would seem you had the more difficult part." She looked at Aedan archly. "While you may not trust _me_ , you would be well advised to trust our new healer."

Aedan rubbed the back of his neck and looked at both Emmalynn and Morrigan. "Forgive my being a complete arse. I know very little of magic and it appears much of what I know is wrong."

Morrigan nodded and left the audience chamber.

"Um...There isn't much reliable information...ah...about magic out…outside of the...circle." Emmalynn put her hand to her head. _It's my mana…at least I got Jowan through…._

Aedan and Alistair saw her turn very pale and Alistair, who was the closest, caught her as she fainted.

"Surana!" Aedan and Alistair yelled at the same time.

* * *

 _*_ Excerpted from "The Ptarmigan: An Avvar Tale" Dragon Age: The World of Thedas Volume 2 at p. 216

AN: Thank you to my fabulous Beta ElyssaCousland!


	11. On Healers and Healing

**Chapter 11 = = On Healers and Healing**

Aedan and Alistair saw her turn very pale and Alistair, who was the closest, caught her as she fainted.

"Surana!" Aedan and Alistair yelled at the same time.

Surana turned to see Emmalynn and moved quickly. "Lay her down on the couch, Alistair."

He opened a lyrium potion and was able to get some down her throat.

"What happened?" Alistair asked.

"Her mana was seriously depleted, which is odd because she has a very deep mana pool and wasn't the only one performing the…" Surana turned to Jowan. " _You_! She made up for you, didn't she?"

Jowan back away from Surana. "She knows I don't have much mana to draw on without blood magic. She should have sent _me_ into the Fade."

A soft voice sounded behind Surana. "Jowan, I would never send a blood mage into the Fade."

Everyone looked at the revived healer. "M, are you feeling better?"

"I'm fine, just a bit tired." Slowly standing up she walked over to Jowan, who had sunk down on a settee with his head in his hands, tears wetting his lashes. She sat next to him and placed a hand on his shoulder. When he winced, she pleaded. "Jowan, you're injured, _please_ let me help."

"I'm fine. Just sore from the cramped cell."

"Jowan–"

"I'm _fine_! I don't need healing!"

Emmalynn held her hands up. "Okay, okay. So, what happened with the Arl? Ser Alistair told us you were here to tutor Connor, to help him learn to hide his magic, and it was Connor who gave into the demon, not you. But why poison the Arl?"

"Teryn Loghain rescued me from the Templars and told me to go to Redcliffe. When I got here, the Arlessa had recently found out about Connor's magic and hired me to train her son to hide it – she thought the Maker guided me to her. Loghain sent a messenger with a vial and instructions. The vial contained a poison and I was to administer it to the Arl."

"Why did you follow Loghain's orders?" Emmalynn asked.

"Loghain said he would make things alright with the Circle. That I could remain free, and not be an apostate."

Surana sighed. "A free mage? I can see the appeal, I guess."

Emmalynn looked pensive.

"M?"

"Jowan, why didn't the poison kill the Arl outright?"

Alistair and Aedan looked surprised at the question.

"I don't know, Emmalynn. It just put him in a kind of Fade sleep. This is _all_ my fault."

"In part, yes," Emmalynn agreed. "But you are not responsible for the Arlessa's deception and whatever Loghain wanted done." _I want to hug him, but he's in so much pain._ She gently patted his knee, then stood up and looked at Surana. "I think you both need to talk."

Rana's scowl slowly left his face. "Perhaps later today. Jowan?"

Jowan voice sounded strained either from the physical pain, emotional pain or both Emmalynn wasn't sure. "Yes, I would like that."

It was just then that Isolde and Teagan returned.

"Connor is fine and has no memory of what happened. However, the Arl is still unconscious," Teagan reported.

Isolde looked desperate and shook her head. "Only Andraste's ashes can save him."

"Isolde, we cannot send out the remaining knights. Redcliffe has lost too many as is."

"We could look for the ashes," Aedan volunteered.

Surana put his hand on Aedan's shoulder. "Aedan, before we make any final plans may I confer with you in private?

Aedan nodded. "Of course. Ah, Bann Teagan, Arlessa Isolde, if you would excuse Warden Surana and me, we will return shortly."

Teagan nodded. "You can use the Arl's study; it is down the hall to the right."

As soon as Surana closed the door to the study he turned to Aedan. "Are you _crazy_? You are willing to send us on a wild goose chase to find some _shem_ artifact that may not even exist? Something which Redcliffe's knights not only couldn't find but was in fact killed while during the search."

Without waiting for a response, Surana continued, "If the Arl dies, and his son is a mage, then Teagan will become Arl, correct?"

Still rather surprised at Surana's vitriol, particularly his use of the epithet _shem,_ Aedan could only nod.

"Then let fate take its course and when Teagan is the Arl we can work with him. _He_ is sympathetic to our cause. Whereas we have no idea about this Arl Eamon, save for his shrew of a mage-hating wife!"

"Look, I know Arl Eamon, and he _will_ support us. Even among the Arls, Eamon wields more power and influence and he is well-respected in the Landsmeet. If anyone can help us take down Loghain, it's him."

Surana sat heavily on a sofa. "You really think so?"

"Yes, I do. Besides, let's say we didn't go after the ashes and Eamon dies. How supportive will Teagan be then?"

"That's…a good point. Alright, I'm with you."

Returning to the audience chamber, Aedan looked at Teagan and Isolde. "Warden Surana and I agree, we will seek out the ashes."

Leliana smiled beatifically. " _Je sais que le Maker nous guidera vers les cendres._ The Maker will be our guide."

Isolde brightened. " _Oui, il le fera._ You must find the scholar Brother Genitivi. He lives in Denerim. He has been working on finding the Ashes for most of his career, I'm sure he knows where to find them. If you can deliver the Ashes of Our Lady you will have the esteem of Redcliffe, and all the riches it is in my power to grant. Now, if you excuse me, I am going to sit with my husband."

Morrigan looked at Aedan. "This quest is foolish."

Sten nodded. "I agree with the _bas Saarebas_."

Aedan scowled. "Then perhaps you should both stay in Redcliffe while we go look for the ashes."

Alistair looked at Sten and Morrigan. "You know the Wardens have been accused of Regicide. If Aedan and Surana are going to amass an army big enough to end this Blight, then they will need the goodwill of many others, not just the Arl. Finding the Ashes of Andraste and healing the Arl will go a long way to counter the regicide charge."

Sten was quiet, then nodded. "I will continue to follow the wardens."

Morrigan sighed. "I suppose there is some truth in what you say, Alistair. Alright. I too will continue to be part of this…whatever this is."

Teagan, who had been quietly listening to the discussion, spoke. "Thank you seems insufficient to express my gratitude for all you have done and continue to do for Redcliffe. Rooms have been prepared for you. When you are ready to leave, I will make sure that you are well-provisioned."

"Thank you, Teagan. We will leave for Denerim in the morning," Aedan decided.

Alistair approached Aedan. "May I go with you? As soon as we have the ashes, I can return to Redcliffe and you can continue on your mission without further delay."

Aedan grinned. "I've seen you fight. Welcome to the group!"

**~oOOo~**

Teagan was about to send Jowan back to the dungeon. "This mage's fate has to wait for the Arl to recover."

"My I have a moment with Jowan please, My Lord, Teagan."

Teagan nodded.

Before Emmalynn could say anything. Jowan shook his head and whispered, "Stop asking me about healing."

Emmalynn sighed and reluctantly nodded.

Surana accompanied the guards. Once Jowan was locked in his cell and the soldiers left, Surana and Jowan sat on the floor facing each other. Physically they were only separated by bars of the cell door, but emotionally they were a chasm apart. For a long time neither mage said a word.

Jowan broke the silence first. "Are you happy to be a warden?"

"Actually, I am. I didn't realize how stifled I was in the Circle until I left with Duncan."

"I'm sorry that your fellow Wardens died."

Surana nodded. "Thanks."

"I suppose you want to know about Lily?"

"Yes. How could you cheat on me, and with a woman no less?"

"I can't explain it. When I first saw her, she…felt like freedom. She and I would talk, and I could tell she wasn't happy as an initiate. She admitted to me that she fled to the chantry to avoid an arranged marriage. The man she was supposed to marry eventually died, but by then Lily was already an initiate."

"Did you love her?"

Jowan was silent for a while. "I loved her, but I was not _in_ love with her."

"What about me?"

"I have always been in love with you. But they were going to make me Tranquil. I saw the order on Irving's desk, and he'd signed it!"

"He did!?"

Jowan nodded. "Now you know why I had to leave."

"Why didn't you tell me?"

"I thought you would try to talk me out of leaving."

"No, I wouldn't have. Not if they were going to make you Tranquil."

Jowan stood up slowly and brushed off his robe. "Well, I guess it doesn't matter now. Once you find the ashes and the Arl wakens, I will either be executed or made Tranquil. I think I'd rather be executed."

Surana noticed Jowan wince. "Jowan it's clear that you're injured. Why have you refused M's healing?"

Jowan hung his head. "The Arlessa…she tortured me to try to get me to admit that I had done something to Connor. I told her I didn't harm Connor, but she didn't believe me."

"That sanctimonious bitch _tortured_ you?" He tried to calm down pinching the bridge of his nose. After a few moments he looked up, his eyes red with unshed tears. "I'm going to get M."

"No! I don't want anyone to know! I don't know what she'll do if she found out I told anyone about the torture."

"The Arlessa won't touch you, _ever again_! I am going to bring M down here and that's final!" Surana sighed. "I couldn't protect you from the Knight Commander, but I _can_ protect you from that harridan!"

Surana found Emmalynn talking with Alistair about the upcoming trip to Denerim. When Emmalynn turned to see her best friend, her eyes widened with worry. "Rana, what's wrong!"

Surana spoke in a rush. "I was talking to Jowan – the Arlessa tortured him! She _tortured_ him. I don't know the extent of his injuries, but he is in pain. Please can you heal him?"

Emmalynn looked at Alistair, frowning. "Did you know about the Arlessa's actions?"

"No! But I'm not surprised. Isolde can get…violent if she is angry enough."

 _He speaks as one who was also a victim of this woman's temper._ Emmalynn's expression softened. She put her hand on Alistair's. "I understand. Perhaps I can speak with your father about Jowan's condition?"

"Why don't you go to Jowan's cell. I will bring my father."

Emmalynn nodded. "Thank you!" She looked a Rana. "Let's go"

On the way to the cells, Emmalynn questioned her friend. "Rana, why wouldn't he let me heal him?"

"He is worried that the Arlessa will retaliate."

"Then we'll have to make sure that she can't."

They entered the dungeon. _I can sense his pain, but it is fare worse than earlier. This is going to be bad._ "Rana, perhaps you should wait here and talk to Alistair and his father, and let me tend to Jowan."

Surana sighed. "That bad?"

"I'm not completely certain without actually looking at him, but yes, I think it's bad."

When Emmalynn reached Jowan's cell, he was curled up on the floor, his pale skin flushed with fever. She sat down. "Jowan?"

He looked up and his expression broke Emmalynn's heart. _I know he was misguided, I know he made bad choices, but he isn't Uldred, either._ "Jowan, I am getting you out of this cell so I can heal you."

"Why bother? I am just going to be made Tranquil or be executed anyway."

"The future is not set in stone. Staying alive keeps doors open. _Please_ let me help you."

Jowan, looking defeated, nodded his head.

"What did she use?"

"Whips, I think it has something sharp attached …I don't remember much except pain."

"Give me your hand," Emmalynn asked, as she extended hers into his cell.

He took her hand and soon her aura enveloped their joined hands. She helped reduce the worst of the pain, to provide some relief until she could examine him.

Teagan and Alistair arrived with Surana as Jowan slumped in relief.

"Maker's breath, Isolde never said she tortured him." Teagan looked disgusted. "Torture may be an _Orlesian_ practice, but not a Fereldan one. I have the key, we can take him to the infirmary in the guard's barracks."

Teagan opened the cell and Emmalynn knelt in front of the feverish mage. "Bann Teagan, we need a litter; he can't walk that far. I should have realized it sooner – he's already done more damage by moving around earlier."

Two guards arrived with the litter, Emmalynn and Surana helped Jowan onto it. He laid on his side because of the pain of his back.

Once in the infirmary, Emmalynn only allowed Teagan to see Jowan. "Rana, you would just hover, and I don't want Jowan to feel like he needs to put on a brave face."

Surana nodded. "I'll go find Aedan and update him."

A half candle after Jowan arrived in the infirmary, Aedan, Leliana, Alistair, and Rana were sitting outside waiting.

Finally, Teagan came out of the infirmary. "Jowan making a full recovery." Then the Bann's expression darkened. "Additionally, for Jowan's safety I will keep him confined to this infirmary until the Arl awakens and I can tell him of the Arlessa's actions. Ser Perth and Ser Donnelly will stand guard and will not let Isolde, nor anyone not expressly permitted by me, to enter."

Aedan stood. "Thank you. We are all grateful for your quick actions and compassion."

Teagan smiled wanly. "I am just sorry for Isolde's behavior."

**~oOOo~**

Just after dinner, Isolde spoke privately with Alistair and Teagan. Teagan was sitting across from his sister-in-law. _All I can see are_ _Jowan's ruined back. Thank the Maker for Emmalynn._

"I am wary of this Grey Warden. Even though he is a Cousland…he was willing to let Jowan use blood magic."

Her tone became sickeningly sweet. "Alistair, could you accompany them? At least I will know _someone_ will be with them who will have _our_ interests at heart."

"Of course, Isolde. I wouldn't want to let the Arl down."

"Thank you, Alistair."

After Isolde went upstairs, Teagan looked at his son. "I cannot believe she just asked that of you! ' _Someone_ will be with them who will have _our_ interests at heart'… What complete and utter rubbish!"

"That may be true. We both know how Isolde can be. But Father, I am a Knight of Rainesfere. Isolde knows my loyalty is to you and to the realm. Eamon's life is critical to the survival of the realm. I am honor-bound to help save the Arl. That's one of the reasons I have already asked Aedan to accompany him."

"You are a far better man than I am, Son."

"No Da. If our situations were reversed, you would have done the exact same thing."

**~oOOo~**

In the Arl's study, after dinner, Alistair was with Aedan and Surana having a glass of port.

Aedan said, "I'm hopeful about finding the ashes."

Alistair nodded. "I am, too."

Surana chuckled into his port.

Aedan looked at his fellow Grey Warden. "What? Do you think we're being overly optimistic?"

"No! You are feeling a real sense of hope. I chuckled because it seems M's influence works outside of the Circle."

Aedan and Alistair looked confused.

"The best way to explain it is that M is the embodiment of hope. She was even before her harrowing; that's why the Spirit of Hope found her."

Aedan said, "I thought spirits of hope weren't drawn to the waking world?"

"Not typically. But I've known M since she came to the circle. Like many children, she was afraid at first. But that passed sooner than is typical. She has a resilience…it's not the tough-mindedness kind, but the kind that comes from an inner sense of optimism, faith, and…hope."

Just before going to bed, Alistair couldn't stop his spinning mind. _I want to get to know Emmalynn better… I felt a pull and I know she felt it too. And the way she put down using blood magic…it was an amazing combination of gentility and steel._

* * *

AN: Thank you to my Beta Elyssacousland who make this readable! Thank you to those who have reviewed, faved, and are following!


	12. On the Road to Denerim

**Chapter 12 = = On the Road to Denerim = Drakonis 9:30**

The group was gathered at the stables at dawn readying to leave Redcliffe. Teagan looked at Aedan. "Please keep the horses for the rest of your journey."

"Thank you! Given we have treaties both in Orzammar and the Brecilian Forest, the horses will shorten our travel time by half."

There were horses already saddled for Leliana, Aedan, Alistair, and Sten.

"Surana, as the only other Warden, we shouldn't share a saddle. Given their armor, Sten and Alistair have little room in their saddles. Leliana, that leaves you."

"Of course. Perhaps, Surana, I can teach you how to ride, yes?"

"Emmalynn, you can ride with me."

"Are there not enough horses?" Emmalynn looked puzzled.

"There are plenty of horses in the stable. Why…Oh! You can _ride_?" Aedan was genuinely surprised.

Emmalynn nodded. Because this wasn't about healing, her normal shyness surfaced as she stammered in answer to Aedan, "My…um…my parents had horses…and felt I should learn. I was five when I started, and I…um… rode until I was taken to the Circle…so...ah it's been a while. Perhaps a less spirited horse would be good?"

Alistair spoke to one of the grooms who nodded and went into the barn.

Surana grinned at Aedan. "At least Leliana doesn't have to worry about my doing anything inappropriate while riding with _her_."

Aedan shook his head and chuckled. "I keep telling you, Surana, that you're barking up the wrong tree."

The good-humored teasing sent chuckles through the group.

The groom returned from the stables leading out a saddled dark cinnamon-colored Forder with a white blaze, and gave the reins to Emmalynn.

"What's her name?"

"Molly…My lady." The groom smiled.

"Thank you." She brushed the horse's velvety nose and surreptitiously fed her an apple. "Hello Molly. You'll be patient with me, won't you?"

Alistair smiled to himself as he watched Molly eat. "Emmalynn, do you need hand up?"

"No, there's a convenient log over here."

He watched Emmalynn with a trainer's eye as she swung into the saddle and settled in. _Deep seat, looks comfortable, holds the reins loosely, Good._

Before Alistair got on his horse, Teagan embraced his son, his voice strained. "Stay safe… _Please_?"

"I'll be fine. Trust me."

**~oOOo~**

That first night on the road to Denerim was the first time Emmalynn had ever camped, Aedan having decided to stay at an inn on their way from Kinloch to Redcliffe.

She looked over the pile of canvas and poles. _I know these are supposed to make a tent, but I have no idea how...I will not ask for help on something that should be easy. Perhaps as I sort through my pack, I'll just watch what the others do_.

After she saw Leliana put up her tent, she decided to give it a go. _Okay, first I put the stakes into the ground and attach the canvas corners to the stakes...done! Now all I have to do is lift this center pole…Ugh, this canvas is heavy...Okay Amell, put your back into it!_

She got the pole up and stuck it into the ground, but it leaned to the left. _That is just going to have to do. Anyway, it gives the tent character._ She sat down inside and spread out her bedroll.

That's when the tent collapsed.

Alistair had been watching. He had sensed her determination to put up the tent on her own, so he didn't immediately offer help. However, when the tent collapsed he walked over to it and lifted up the canvas.

Emmalynn stood up, dragging her bedroll with her. Her curly hair was escaping its careful braid. She blew a ringlet from in front of her eyes, looking frustrated.

 _Maker, she's lovely._ "Would you like some help?"

She sighed. "I rather hoped not to be the proverbial damsel in distress, but yes, I would be grateful for your assistance." _Wait…I didn't stammer. Why don't I stammer when I talk to Alistair?_

With his hands under hers they pushed up the center pole and secured it into the ground pointing straight up.

"Thank you, Alistair. Tell me, is there an easier way to put up this tent or am I just not strong enough?"

Alistair rubbed the back of his neck. "Well…you have the correct method."

"As I feared. I'll just need to build up my upper arm strength or get used to sleeping outside."

Alistair looked puzzled. "You _can_ ask for help."

"I know, I know. I just hate being the weakling circle-mage."

"Trust me, no one who saw what you did at Redcliffe thinks you're weak."

She shook her head. "I only did what needed to be done. I wasn't about to let anyone kill Connor or use blood magic." She turned towards her tent. "Even if it meant being the only one to power the lyrium."

The last she said under her breath, but Alistair had heard her. "Wait! Emmalynn, could you have done that?"

She turned back and slowly nodded. "I would have had to use my life essence to provide the additional power; not blood, but soul."

"Wait. Would sending Morrigan into the fade have killed you?"

"Possibly."

Alistair placed his hands gently on her shoulders. "Emmalynn, look at me."

She looked into his eyes.

"You would have given your life to save a boy you hardly know?"

Her voice was subdued but her eyes burned with conviction. "What is my life compared to that of an innocent child? A child who only wanted to save his father's life?"

She shook her head, changing the subject. "Now, if you'll excuse me, I need to ask Aedan when I'm on watch. Thank you so much for helping me with my tent!"

She began to walk away and then she turned biting her lower lip. "I…doubt I will be any stronger tomorrow; would you be willing to help me with my tent again?"

Alistair smiled and bowed. "Of course, my lady."

She curtsied, "Thank you. Ser Knight."

That night Emmalynn wrote in her journal

_**Road to Denerim Day 1** _

_Aedan told us that, because the wardens are wanted regicides, we need to avoid run-ins with Loghain's soldiers, which means staying off the Imperial Highway as much as possible. Consequently, what would have been an eight-day journey will actually be closer to 12 days. Still and all that is far better than 19 days on foot!_

_I am hoping by the time we get to Denerim I will be able to put up my tent without help._

Emmalynn looked up from her journal. "Not that I mind Alistair's assistance. How does that man manage to smell so good after a day in the saddle?"

**~oOOo~**

_**On the Road to Denerim, Day 3** _

_We have been fighting darkspawn for the last two days. Aedan and Rana said these darkspawn are part of the horde that was headed to Lothering. I wanted to look for survivors, but Aedan told me that the Darkspawn would not have left anyone alive._

_Those poor people in Lothering! Facing such horror with no hope of defending themselves._

_I'm tired, but not as tired as I would be if I also had watch duty. Thankfully, Rana suggested to Aedan that I not be given watch duties when we are doing so much fighting; now I have the maximum time to restore my mana._

**~oOOo~**

Their fourth day on the road was particularly draining as they had to fight in the pouring rain.

Leliana sighed as she and Emmalynn were retrieving arrows. " _Le temps de Ferelden est morne et déprimant!"_

Emmalynn had become friends with the lay sister smiled. "The weather isn't _that_ depressing, Leliana. At least when it rains the air doesn't smell like a wet dog _."_

Leliana beamed "You understand Orlesian!"

" _Oui. Mon accent a besoin d'amélioration_."

"Actually, your accent is surprisingly good for one who never lived in Orlais. Let me know if you want to improve it, yes?"

Emmalynn smiled without comment. _Learning to speak better Orlesian while traveling in Ferelden does not seem like the best use of my time._

**~oOOo~**

On the fifth day, Aedan decided to make camp at mid-afternoon. He said, "I know we are all exhausted after the last several days. Neither Surana nor I sense any darkspawn in the vicinity, so we should take advantage of the opportunity to rest."

They camped near the Drakon river. This was the first time Emmalynn could remember seeing a river. She was sitting on the bank letting the sun warm her back and enjoying the cool breeze ruffling her hair. Her thoughts turned to a heated discussion she had had with Anders last year.

…... ... ...

_Anders stood facing her, hands gesturing to the arrow-slit window. "They keep us isolated from the world so we accept our life sentence for a crime we've never committed!"_

" _This is hardly a prison, Anders."_

" _Can you leave?"_

" _Well, no."_

" _Then it's a prison. Ferelden is so beautiful. Aren't you a little curious to see it?_

_Emmalynn shrugged._

" _What if I told you about how the sun warms your back just enough to where you feel your muscles relax, and when you are about to feel too warm a cool breeze blows gently through your hair, refreshing you. Doesn't that sound like something you'd like to experience?_

… ... ... .. .

Footsteps interrupted her thoughts and she turned to see Alistair standing there. "Emmalynn, might I sit with you?"

"Of course."

Alistair sat next to her. "Is everything okay?"

"Oh yes! I was just enjoying how beautiful it is here."

"It _is_ beautiful."

"You sound surprised."

"I guess I am…which is silly of me."

"I wouldn't say you're silly."

"Oh, _I_ would! I am _considerably_ silly," Alistair joked.

Emmalynn giggled. "Okay, _that_ was silly. But why are you surprised?"

Alistair thought a moment. "I see rivers and lakes all the time. I guess that's the point: I've taken it for granted, but you've been in the circle for most of your life…you've been missing this."

"I was thinking that now I understand why they never let us outside. After experiences all of this," her hand gestured to take in the area around them, "many of us wouldn't want to go back to the Circle."

"Would you?" He murmured.

Emmalynn looked into his eyes. "While Ferelden is very beautiful, that alone would not make me want to become an apostate."

"What else would?"

"Dinner!" Leliana called.

Alistair regretfully stood up. He held out his hand to Emmalynn; once she was standing, she was only a hand's breadth away, and tall enough that he only had to lower his gaze to catch hers. He brought her hand to his lips and gently kissed the back of her hand.

**~oOOo~**

Aedan and Surana were scouting ahead sensing for darkspawn. Having felt nothing, they were about to turn back to camp.

"Surana, wait. Can I ask you something?"

"No conversation that starts that way is ever good." Surana smirked. "What's bugging you?"

"Well...I've noticed that Emmalynn doesn't use offensive magic; no fireballs, no rock fists, no lightning, and no cold spells. I know she takes being a healer _very_ seriously, which is all well and good, and I know you to are close friends so don't take this the wrong way, but it's kind of annoying that she won't use offensive magic."

"Why are you annoyed? Do you expect her to stop healing, rejuvenating, and shielding just to add another battlemage to our group?"

"Well no, put that way it sounds asinine, but she can't protect herself by healing the darkspawn to death."

"Rest assured, if it becomes necessary, M will kill Darkspawn, and demons with magic or without."

"Good to know."

"Oh, one thing." Surana grinned. "M _can_ throw a dagger."

"Is she any good?"

"Surprisingly, yes."

"They don't teach that in the Circle, even _I_ know that."

"Before M came to the Circle, she had a huge crush on one of her father's knights. To get close to him she asked if he could train her on a weapon. She wasn't strong enough for a sword, so he taught her how to throw a dagger."

" _Where_ does she even carry a dagger?"

"Her staff blade is really a detachable dagger that she can throw. Ask her to show you. Oh, but please don't mention that you know about the Knight!"

**~oOOo~**

Emmalynn and Alistair were riding side by side. "Everyone calls you Emmalynn but Surana calls you 'Em'."

She grinned. "Actually, it's M as in the letter M, not E-m short for Emmalynn."

"M?"

"Rana was the one assigned to show me around the apprentice floor when I first came to the circle. After I told him my name he said. 'Emmalynn Amell? Your name is all Ms and Ls, what a mouthful.'

"When we got to what was to be my bunk, the letter M had been carved into the side of the headboard. Rana felt that it was a sign and said, 'hence forth I shall call you M!'

"Is he the only one who has ever given you a nickname?''

Emmalynn nodded. "Aside from Rana, I don't have another _close_ friend in the Circle. I am friendly with my colleagues, but I only felt safe confiding in Rana. As you've noticed, I am ridiculously shy except when I am being a healer." _and apparently when talking to you. "_ What about you? I didn't notice anyone call you anything other than Alistair…oh, and Son." She smiled. "Your father is so proud of you."

"I am blessed to have Teagan as my father." Alistair beamed. _She doesn't seem shy around me._

"It's nice to see a happy family. That is something no one has in the circle. So, do you have a nickname or something short for Alistair?"

Alistair briefly thought back to Nora calling him Al.

Emmalynn quickly noticed a shadow behind his eyes. "Sorry, I didn't mean to send your thoughts down an unpleasant road."

Alistair blinked and looked at Emmalynn "Don't be sorry. It's just a young woman I was involved with called me Al."

"Ah, then I shan't call you that."

"May I call you Emma?"

Emmalynn blushed. "I'd like that."

**~oOOo~**

After they finished dinner Alistair asked Emmalynn to take walk with him along the river

They were walking arm and arm; Emmalynn stopped and looked up. "The sky is so clear tonight. Every night since I've been out of the Circle it's been cloudy." Her tone turned wistful. "I used to watch the stars with Mother. She knew all the constellations."

"How long have you been in the Circle?"

"About ten years. I was nine."

They sat together on a flat moss-covered boulder with a clear view of the sky

Alistair pointed up. "That is one of my favorites."

"Draconis, isn't it?"

Alistair nodded. "It is. I think I like it because it doesn't really look like a dragon."

"Mother said it looked more like a winged, large-mouthed slug." She grinned.

Alistair threw his head back and guffawed. "Brilliant! That is _exactly_ what it looks like! Do you have a favorite constellation?"

"I do, but you'll think I'm weird..."

"I doubt that. Come on, tell me."

Emmalynn pointed to it.

"The Sword of Mercy? Why is it your favorite?" Alistair was genuinely curious.

"Originally it represented Tevinter's twisted version of justice. The Chantry changed it to mercy. I think there needs to be more mercy in the world."

"That doesn't sound weird at all." Alistair smiled.

"To hear some mages rail about it you would think I was the head of the Loyalists."

"Isn't that mage group they call Chantry-apologists?"

"You are well-read! Yes, they believe that mages cannot be trusted, and support the constant vigilance doctrine. I avoid the fraternities because all they do is perpetuate 'us versus them' thinking. Anyway, to me that constellation isn't about the chantry, it is about being merciful."

They continued looking at the stars and sharing Ferelden and Alamarri tales they had learned about each constellation. When it was time to head back to camp Alistair helped Emmalynn stand; he looked into her eyes. "Emma…may I kiss you?"

She nodded nervously, but her eyes sparkled.

Cupping her face, he leaned in and gently kissed her. Her lips were soft and responsive. Then he pulled back. "Maker's Breath, but you're beautiful."

"You...you think I'm _beautiful_?" She was genuinely surprised.

"Yes! You doubt?"

"I've never really thought about it. No one's ever told me that."

"Well, I'll just have to tell you more often."

"Then she'll just get a swollen head," Surana teased as he walked past them.

"Rana, you're terrible!" Emmalynn laughed as she called after him.

"Yeah, but you love me anyway!" he called back.

* * *

 **AN** : Many thanks to my Beta Goddess ElyssaCousland. Thank you to those are reading. Thank you to those who have faved and are following Thank you to Judy, and Lightningstorm99 for your reviews. Please review, if you can. This is a different writing process than my previous stories!


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